BloomingSeaRose Member Profile

...See more Alright this is my first time writing one of these. But anyways. I get anxiety a lot. Sometimes to a point or extreme where I would rather be depressed than have anxiety because when Im depressed I cannot be anxious,one cancels out the other. I try to overcome it at times but when facing it my lungs tighten and it gets hard to breathe and my heart pounds rapidly. Which is why I would rather avoid confronting the anxiety inducing situation even if it is simple. But when I avoid it I feel stuck and I hate it so much and I dont want to live that way. The only way I have discovered how to cope is to sit my head in my hands. Another issue I have is how jumbled my mind is. If I think something I dont like or I wouldnt usually think or say I reprimand myself. Because of my mom I have been conditioned to always expect the worst. And that good things rarely happen which is of course untrue and Ive been trying to break away from that line of thought. But I am afraid of having an expectation and then being disappointed or hurt. I have somewhat created a safety net for myself that yes does help at times but also hurts me and keeps me from doing things I want. I have been searching for therapists and am still awaiting responses but the process for finding one has been taking a long time. If anyone has advice it would be very much appreciated and I thank you for your time in reading this.

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