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BrokenPirate
118 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2018 Member sinceAugust 15, 2016
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I feel like I'm stuck here
Anxiety Support / by BrokenPirate
Last post
 April 25th, 2017
...See more I'm a 22 year old woman and I still live with my parents. I've had no education (literally none), have anxiety that's to the extent of making me feel sick, borderline crippling, and causing me to lose weight, and sensory issues (highly sensitive to light, smells, and especially noise) that are downright exhausting. I'm taking active steps, small though they may be, towards living independently. It's hard but I know it will be worth it. And I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. I don't want to live here anymore. I dislike my father, the sound of his voice, the very sight of him; it's an inordinately deep seated dislike. It seems like he's trying to control everyone's lives sometimes, including my mother's. But it's all in a subtly emotionally manipulative way. He doesn't physically abuse us anymore but he has his ways of making someone feel guilty for not doing whatever he "suggests." On top of this I feel very mentally young, like a child. I'm frightened of living alone. I struggle to organize my days and I feel like I'm fumbling around in the dark. My emotions are so difficult to regulate sometimes I end up physically harming myself. I don't know why I'm writing all this; I just feel like venting I guess. Otherwise my thoughts mix together into mud and I can't make sense of any of them. It's better when they're written down.
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