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ButterflyWings92
173 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2023 Member sinceMay 27, 2016
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Struggling mentally & emotionally
Relationship Stress / by ButterflyWings92
Last post
 June 6th, 2023
...See more My fiancée and I have been together 4 and 1/2 years. He's been deployed for the past year and still has months to go. Our rship wasn't in the best place before he left due to sexual issues. He's a very sexual person and because of past rships and health issues I've developed a very negative rship with sex. He's been kind and understanding for years and I've been working on my issues. Thus we weren't in the best place before he left but we were ok and working on things. His deployment was for 9 months. About a month after he left I started having constant maintenance issues in the apartment we shared and was stressed and frustrated. He decided that we should buy a house and so he decided to extend the deployment another 9 months (18months apart total) so he'd have the money. I was against it because I didn't think we'd survive being apart that long. I agreed to the extention simply because I wanted to support him. So while he's gone im home dealing with constant maintenance issues and other issues in our apt, our dog was sick (she's fine now), I was starting my 2nd year of teaching elementary school, and I was also in school. I had a lot going on. On top of that I started working with a realtor friend of his to find us the perfect house. For 2 months I worked all day, went to tour houses after work, then went home to do homework. No rest. We found a house and then I had to add packing and moving to my akready full plate. My family lives out of state and his who's 30 mins away offered no assistance. I hired movers and did everything else myself. So at that point, I was packing, moving, cleaning and organizing a new house, still trying to figure out my way at work, still in school, and still dealing with a sick dog. I was overwhelmed and angry that he wasn't here to help with any of it. I put my emotions on the back burner so I could focus on everything on my plate. I also put our rship in auto pilot and stopped focusing on it as much. Since he's not home to deal with any of this he has all the time in the world to worry about sex and that was the absolute last thing on my mind. He kept wanting to *** all the time and wanted videos, etc etc. I did what I could sometimes and other times I got frustrated and just shut him down. Apparently that was "damaging" to his manhood. Here we are months later and I'm finally done with everything I had on my plate and I'm trying to refocus on the rship. I can feel the distance that has grown between us and then a month ago he told me he had sex A COUPLE TIMES with a friend a few months ago. I was heartbroken and *** but he's human and people mess up. I'm trying to show grace and work towards forgivness. He made conflicting comments about our rship. The first one was that we should go our seperate ways but then the next day he says he loves me, wants to see me again when he's back, and just isn't ready right now. As of today, he hasn't talked to me in over a week. I sent a long email the other day because I needed to get things off my chest but I can't tell if he's read it (darn Yahoo). I know we're broken but to me we're worth fixing and it just doesn't seem like he sees that. It's like he's forgotten how much we love each other or maybe he's falling out of love...idk. I'm literally loosing my mind and feel like the life I've been working so hard towards is just being taken away from me. I love him and just want him to come home and we fix it cause I know we can be happy together. We have no other issues like money or religion or work ethic or etc. Our only issue is sex. We align in so many ways!
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