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CPO2000
1 2,931 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 31 Compassion hearts127 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes36 Current upvotes36 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2026 Member sinceDecember 15, 2022
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restart
Self-Harm Recovery / by CPO2000
Last post
 March 7th
...See more i went 3 years. I’m now barely at 2 hours. i’ve failed. I’ve let myself down. I never saw it coming until it was here, i had held back for so long and how i’m back at square one. The breathing exercises don’t help, the distraction techniques are useless. How on earth do i come back from this?
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unsure
Depression Support / by CPO2000
Last post
 November 20th, 2025
...See more i think im sitting about expecting something bad to happen or something to go wrong. I have had a good few weeks so baically i feel like a ticking time bomb. Its nearly christmas, assignments are due, i have placement, i am overwhelmed but holding myself together and for that i am proud of myself. However i know in the very back of my mind the sadness and dispare is creeping foward slowly. My eneergy is decreasing, i dont want to see friends, my family live hours away so i can feel myself slipping into my little depression trap. Im unsure what to do to prevent it.
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951 days
Self-Harm Recovery / by CPO2000
Last post
 October 11th, 2025
...See more 951 days clean 951 days and the urges are still just as strong 951 days since i’ve felt relief 951 days since ive felt peace 951 days and im so afraid it won’t see 952.
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back to square one
Depression Support / by CPO2000
Last post
 July 17th, 2025
...See more i feel like i’m back to square one, i had my emotions and thoughts under control for over two years now. But slowly bit by bit they have trickled out. Like a burst water pipe that i can’t get back under control. I hadn’t had a panic attack in years until this last week and now it seems like it’s becoming part of my routine. I’ve barely left my bed in 4 days, i had a shower to try shake this mood off me but it didn’t help one bit. instead i lay in a wet bed from my hair, unable to move. I feel like i’m back to square one.
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repetitive
Depression Support / by CPO2000
Last post
 June 23rd, 2024
...See more my days seem to blend into one, not being able to tell apart what i did and when i did it from week to week. The days seem endless and i am just restless. Unable to seek help, because if i did id have to admit its gone bad again. The funny thing is, i was going better, ive been thriving in fact and all it took was one tiny bump in the road and i back at square one.
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Life is a circle and all i have is my journal.
Depression Support / by CPO2000
Last post
 June 9th, 2024
...See more My life is one big circle. Its repetitive. No matter how many times i try to do things differently i always end up back at the start, My life is one big circle. The pain is never ending. There is never any bending. Just one smooth circular line of pain. And when i finally gain hope again. Im back at the start where all i feel is pain. My life is one big circle. All i have is my journal.
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one thing after another
Trauma Support / by CPO2000
Last post
 January 5th, 2023
...See more how are you meant to just get up and go after you’ve witnessed something horrible. seeing a man get hit by my friends car, see him fly up in the air and his heart keep on stopping infront of me. how and i meant to carry on as normal, nothing about it was okay and yet everyone says i should be fine. seeing that isn’t fine, but no one not a single person wants to hear it. it’s one thing after another, there’s no stop, there’s no break, it’s one thing after another and quite frankly i don’t think i can take much more. do you ever feel like your head is exploding, but no one notices because you don’t want them too, so it’s just you in your own mind all hrs of the day wanting the world to cave in but you smile, tou wave and get through it.
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it always happens
Trauma Support / by CPO2000
Last post
 December 31st, 2022
...See more they say although you don’t remember the event your body does. so when a similar experience happiness your body remembers how you felt and acted which is why you panic shutdown become depressed anxious ect. but i know my trauma. i know my problems. so why do i still act the same, why so i still hesitate when someone shouts. why do i clench my fist untill my nails dig so deep it hurts and that’s just because i hear a loud car. why do i cry when i’m in a tiny space, or in a car by myself. surely i should be okay, i know what happened. so why can i not sort myself out. years of therapy and i’ve got no closer i feeling home, at peace with myself
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