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CactusQueen
168 M Embraced 1
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2016 Member sinceJuly 24, 2016
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In Hindsight
Relationship Stress / by CactusQueen
Last post
 October 9th, 2016
...See more I am cold and distant. I have pushed away those who cared. I am dark, I drain the light. I am rotten. I am numb. I ruin all I love. Too frightened to even put myself out of my misery. I have become so dark.
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Relationship over because of my depression and social anxiety
Relationship Stress / by CactusQueen
Last post
 August 14th, 2016
...See more I have been depressed for many years, but for the last 2 it has been particularly intense. Over the last 3 months I have become so withdrawn that it started to affect my partner negatively and understandably so, he didn't understand my issues or where they came from although I think he tried, and I suppose I pushed him away while I was struggling to focus on just getting through the day. I know he felt sad that he couldn't make me happy. So yesterday we had an argument and he told me it's over, and that he didn't feel loved for the last few months. I tried to explain I was sorry and that my depression had overwhelmed and consumed me and I knew I should have tried to open up to him but I felt frozen, numb, and strange. I feel a sadness at the loss of my best friend but at the moment I know we are probably too different to get through this together, although we love each other. I feel consumed by guilt at the moment too for the way I made him feel but I can't change it. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest and see if anyone else has ended up pushing someone they love away due to their depression and extreme introversion. Thanks for reading
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