ChaiTeaCups Member Profile

...See more Dear 7cups friends, I would really appreciate some advice. I'm a little over halfway through university/college, and I've lost my motivation and passion. I'm on quite a specific degree course for a rather niche industry, with poorly paying job prospects. Its very much a degree you do for passion, not the money. When I applied for and began the course, I knew it was exactly what I wanted to do, I didn't care about money and I had big dreams. I didn't consider anything else, it's what I had wanted to do since I was 8 years old. I'm now 20, and I've just run out of passion. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, it's not too serious, but it has some complications that leave me with very low energy. I used to be a super high achiever, throughout the equivalent of high-school, I was the best best performing student in my year, I excelled at all my academics and put a lot of work into everything I did. Now I'm struggling to get average grades, and I've lost all motivation. Sometimes I'm tired for a week and have to extend all my assignments, I can't keep up with the reading, I skip lectures. I'm not myself. I was meant to be doing a year in industry, but I had to drop off the course because I was too scared to live alone or with strangers whilst I'm ill, in case something happens and no one is there to help me. My university keeps running seminars on careers and careers fairs, how important experience is, and how we can't just rely on our degrees. I can't even keep up with the workload from my degree, the idea of trying to gain experience alongside is killing me. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I pretty much defined myself by being a "nerd" who loves their subject. I don't even know if I want to stay in this industry anymore. The idea of switching degrees and starting again is exhausting, and I don't have a clue what I'd do instead. I really need a break, right now, even 9 hours of sleep isn't enough. I have a 4 week spring break coming up, but I have 4 exams with massive weighting straight afterwards that I'm not prepared for, so I'll have to spend it catching up. I don't understand how the other students on my course are doing so well, they're keeping up, doing the extra reading, getting experience and heading societies. I don't like who I am anymore. I don't care about anything, or work hard enough. I'm deferring modules and just hoping for a minimum wage job when I get out of uni. My only goal in life is to have a cat one day. My future just looks so sad. I don't know how to keep going. Whenever I research jobs and careers I just want to cry. I have friends, and a partner who loves and supports me. I feel guilty for being so "emotionally messy" and hard work. They all have their own problems going on, some much more serious than mine, and I feel like such a burden. I'm privileged to even be in uni, or have a family that supports me, and I feel like I'm squandering it. What can I do? How can I get back to loving my degree and regain my passion? How do I go back to achieving top grades again? I feel like such a different person to the teenager that applied to uni, and I just want to go back and be them again.

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