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Chiana
1 1,388 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts80 Forum posts118 Forum upvotes127 Current upvotes127 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2018 Member sinceMarch 4, 2015
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UGH! packing for a weekend trip and I am having a moment
Anxiety Support / by Chiana
Last post
 September 17th, 2016
...See more   It is only for a few days, a three hour drive away, It is not like I am going to the ends of the earth!! I cannot plan for every unseen problem.  I mean I am taking my 7 yr old daughter to Disney! that should be fun, right?? We are going with the whole family, well my sister and her family and in-laws.... You would think I would be excited not nervous!!  It is a silly little thing to be anxious over!!  Well I have a few reasons.... I am a single parent, just me and my daughter.... She has some special needs (don't we all) she has ADD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, ODD... and whatever else you want to through in the mix... Add that to my anxiety and depression and extreme loneliness!! Disaster!!  How can I pack for it all?? What if I forget something?? What if she has a serious moment, what if she wanders, though she is not a wanderer... very high functioning, "you would never know by looking at her" (my favorite thing that I hear from ignorant people) crap, what if i have a moment... no I am strong... I keep it all together out there for all to see!! I never fold... I can't... if I do what will happen to my daughter....  No, I got it all I can't ask for help.... Ok, nevermind this is just silly, eff it! let's just go and have fun, enjoy, live those "moments" we may have! We are going to Disney, it is for my daughter, she is going to LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! She is going to be completely over stimulated....   I can do it... hold my breath, put my big girl pants on and go!! I will cry later, when I am all alone and it is all said and done, I will exhale, and breathe... (and fall apart) ah hell who am I trying to convince! I can't!! for what ever it is worth thank you for listening...         
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i do not self harm, but i pick relentlessly at anything
OCD & Related Behaviors / by Chiana
Last post
 May 18th, 2020
...See more While that might not be the same thing i do not know where else to post this.  I am in no way trying to compare or discount what you, the reader of this may be going through, I am just looking for help and understanding.  I pick at every cut, scratch, pimple, anything.  I cannot help myself.  And today I have something new to pick at that I do not want too!! I had oral surgery, a tooth extracted and I want to pick at it sooo bad, I had complications already wound up back at urgent care got a shot in the arse and stronger antibiotics, but I can see the stitches, i think i can see something else, i just want to pick at it.  I know I really should not at all, that I would most likely make it worse... and maybe just maybe writing this post will help.  But will it help at the hour that the desire to pick and prod and poke is overwhelming?? It kinda hurts right now, maybe something is in there, that if i could just see, and remove it would feel better.  I have many scars from previous picking, and i tend to scar very easily anyway...  Does anyone have any suggestions for distraction for when the desire, or urge is at its peak?  thank you for taking the time to read this 
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