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Chickenisbae
1 55 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceApril 8, 2016
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Unwanted
Anxiety Support / by Chickenisbae
Last post
 November 8th, 2021
...See more I've been feeling this way for a while now and it only happens when my best friend (female) meets up with a friend of 5+ years who knew each other before my best and I met (male). It started a month ago when the male friend flew down to where my best friend and I live and she acted a bit different than she usually does. In many ways than one, she talks about me in a negative away or puts some type of blame on me. I know that people act differently when they are with different people, it still kinda hurts. And now this time around, in my opinion, it's a lot worse. This time, my best friend and I flew down to where the male friend is since it's also her hometown and my God, I've never felt so unwanted. Most of the time that I spoke with her, her replies were curt and seemed quite annoyed. To put it in a perspective, if I asked a question, she'd have the curt attitude; if the male friend asked the same exact question after, it's a lot more positive. Things really took a turn when the three of us plus her cousin went to an amusement park. If it was a four seater, she'd have me sit at the end next to her; when I try to strike up a conversation, she has an attitude. When we stand in line, she turns her back to me and talks to them. When I spoke with her male friend, she'd look irritated. One of the things that definitely bothered me though was when she took pictures. She'd leave me out of it. She took pictures with them but not with me. And then when she thinks I'm not paying attention, she makes plan with her male friend. For example, she asked him if they wanted to finish a show they started together one night, meaning really, the only ones who'd watch this would be them since I wouldn't even know what's going on. To sum it up, I came to the conclusion that there is such thing as being a 4th wheel. I literally feel like a spare tire. I just wanted to talk to them and get to know them since I've never been to her hometown before so I just wanted to feel comfortable with something I do know...and I feel really depressed not being able to fit in when I'm already nervous of being in a unfamiliar place. And even as I type this whole novel of my feelings, I'm in a separate room from the other three....
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