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ChristianPatriot77
1 226 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2021 Member sinceJuly 12, 2021
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Hurt very badly...
Relationship Stress / by ChristianPatriot77
Last post
 August 4th, 2021
...See more Took awhile, the real thing I feel is betrayal, abandonment and being used and abused. She blocked me from everything and ran from me. I never did anything wrong to her to deserve this. I gave her everything I possibly could. I literally could not have done more. Then she did what she did. Makes me feel like everything good she ever said about me was a complete lie. This hurts worse than a breakup. It effects more than just my heart. I literally feel shattered from within and without. Backstabbed, heart stabbed, obliterated. Makes me feel so much worse than I ever have before. Makes me sick and feel worthless among other things. How could someone do this to another person? Especially after seeming like a woman of God? Either she's a really good actress, honestly got beyond scared of commitment or I'm just blinded by love. Was I stuck in a fantasy instead of reality? I can't say for certain. I have so much racing through me. It's hard to handle. I can say this with absolute certainty, if I didn't have God, this whole thing would have been the actual end of me. I just don't know how to proceed because of all the hurt I feel. I feel like I need divine intervention.
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Mutually ended brief relationship
Relationship Stress / by ChristianPatriot77
Last post
 July 12th, 2021
...See more I was recently in a brief 2-3 month relationship with someone who I got quite close to. Her and I were friends first, then developed feelings for each other. A few days ago, we mutually parted. I really thought she was going to be my wife. We got along perfectly, didn't fight or argue once. It was almost like a match made in heaven. But she had two things she couldn't be sure she could ever give me and I had something I was certain I couldn't ever give her. She wasn't a physical person, meaning if we got married, sex wasn't something that mattered to her and I would like like that out my wife. And she wasn't sure if she could ever get over a past guy she was in a relationship with. She still had feelings for him. And I need to move and she doesn't want to be away from her family. So of course, marriage was off the table if it ever got that far. I just couldn't push my will onto her, I really wanted it, but I cared for her too much than to do that to her. We ended things respectfully. However, I'm so very broken from this. I felt love for her. She was an everyday part of my life. We talked for 8+ hours a day and constantly were on each other's minds. She was essentially everything to me. Definitely was wife material and everything I could have wanted out of a wife. I just miss her so much. And everything about my days are off, I feel nauseous all the time, I can't sleep and can't eat much. I feel the most broken and weak I ever have. She told me at one time that I have a heart of gold. And I believe that. I wanted so badly to share it with her. Now I can't. I feel completely alone and broke. I don't know what to do. I feel lost.
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How do I fight the urge while alone?
Addiction Support / by ChristianPatriot77
Last post
 July 12th, 2021
...See more I've been addicted to porn for roughly 15 years. Recently has been off and on. 2 months free currently. Now I find my mind thinking about it. The real reason why I stopped is because I started talking to a girl I was heavily interested in. She was great for me. We stopped talking a few days ago. We knew a relationship wasn't going to work out and we had stuff to work on. Now she's not here. I actually liked her so much and cared for her and started to fall for her a bit. My heart hurts and now the urge has come back quite strong. I'm a Christian and know the devil is tempting me because I'm the weakest I've been in a long time. I feel broken, because I briefly thought I found my wife and she's not here. I don't want to give in. I can't. But it's hard. I just need help feeling whole again and not relapsing. This is a very hard time in my life. Maybe the hardest.
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