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ChristmasTreesInTheMoonlight
773 M Little Steps
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts103 Forum upvotes46 Current upvotes46 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2019 Member sinceJune 15, 2016
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I don't know what to do.....
Depression Support / by ChristmasTreesInTheMoonlight
Last post
 August 30th, 2017
...See more I've been pretty depressed for a couple years. I think it might be seasonal? Anyways, I saw the school therapist all of last year, and when I became suicidal, she told my mom. My mom obviously was concerned, but after talking to my doctor she still didn't set up any psychologist appointments or anything. After thinking I was ok for a couple months, in April or May I started self harming again. I can hardly go two days clean now. Also, I have very bad body image and I've been eating one meal a day or less since about June. School starting really made my depression escalate, I've been feeling overwhelming anxiety about my future every day and often feel like I'd rather die than go to school. I feel so much pressure, but I feel like school is useless to me now. This week especially I've barely been sleeping, I've had a headache each day, I can't focus on anything, I feel like my heartbeat is irregular too. I've just been so out of touch. I also have no good friends. Tonight, I suddenly got a severe headache and I've felt like my balance has been skewed, like I'm not stable on my feet. My mom has lately been saying that I've gotten too thin, but I'm still at a healthy weight for my height. I actually think I'm still fat. Anyways, my mom is concerned, and I'm debating whether I should tell her how much of a mess I've been lately. I'm getting to the point where I can't function at school, and I can't do my homework because I can't focus. I just need a break.
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Invalid?
Depression Support / by ChristmasTreesInTheMoonlight
Last post
 May 22nd, 2017
...See more So, I've suffered from depression for over a year now. In February, through a blood test I was diagnosed with a fairly severe vitamin D deficiency. I know that one of its symptoms is depression, so now I feel like all my awful feelings were just because of this deficiency. I was suicidal, and extremely depressed/hopeless. Since taking the supplements I have improved. I still get mood swings of depression fairly frequently, but that just seems normal to me now. I'm not suicidal, and I have more energy. I'm wondering if everything we caused by this deficiency and I have no real problem, or if my mood improving is the result of light therapy (school social worker) and changing seasons. It's all very confusing to me.
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Thanksgiving
Eating Disorder Support / by ChristmasTreesInTheMoonlight
Last post
 November 22nd, 2016
...See more I'm really really anxious about thanksgiving. I'm having two celebrations (divorced parents) and I know I'm going to binge, but I'm scared that I'll gain weight eating unhealthily for this week. I've wanted to purge today, but I can't bring myself to do it. I want to enjoy the holidays with my family, depression is making things hard enough without my eating disorder controlling me. Does anyone have tips on how to decrease my anxiety about this situation?
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Factors affecting period
Relationship Stress / by ChristmasTreesInTheMoonlight
Last post
 December 10th, 2016
...See more Can stress, anxiety and/or depression affect your period? Like, make you miss it? My period has always been pretty heavy with minimal pain (when I first got it it was light) and last month it didn't come. There was some (tmi) discharge that made me think it was coming, but there was never any blood. Last year, there was a time when I missed my period for around 5 months. My doctor didn't say there was any problem then, she said it could be stress. Lately my depression had been getting much much worse, and I still have anxiety. Could this be why I missed my period? I'd also like to add that there's no possible way I could be pregnant, so that's not a factor.
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I'm just done...
Depression Support / by ChristmasTreesInTheMoonlight
Last post
 October 19th, 2016
...See more So I'm seeing this therapist, and she's obsessed with treating my anxiety even though I hardly notice it anymore bc my depression overshadows it. She'll "water down" my symptoms so to speak (not being able to get out of bed unless forced, ect.) and showed only very very slight concern when I confessed I was borderline suicidal (and getting worse by the week). I've been seeing her since the end of August, and she's diagnosed me with adjustment disorder (which feels very wrong). My mom doesn't understand, she keeps telling me to cut screen time and go exercise which I can't just go do because of the intensity of my depression. It's really getting debilitating, seriously, and I really don't know what to do anymore. I absolutely HATE school, I can't do anything, I feel like a failure, I can barely get out of bed, I don't really feel emotion anymore. I feel like the color has gone out of my life, and I can barely remember the last time I was actually happy (and it was brief). I honestly feel so hopeless, my mind is spiraling out of control....
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Hunger
Depression Support / by ChristmasTreesInTheMoonlight
Last post
 October 11th, 2016
...See more I was wondering how depression affects eating habits and hunger. I was eating pretty normally, maybe a bit too much. My depressive feelings and symptoms caused me to eat less than I should (1,000 calories maximum per day) and this went on for around 2 weeks (I would eat a lot on weekends though....). Then I went back to how I was before bc my mom was suspicious of me and I was bored and missed food. When I was eating not enough, I wasn't really very hungry. Now, I'm hungry all the time no matter how much I eat. I don't weigh myself much out of fear that it'll trigger me into not eating again so idk if I've lost or gained weight. I know I didn't lose weight over the two weeks I wasn't eating much. I'm worried that my depression symptoms might be because of an underlying medical condition, thyroid specifically. I'm very anxious about my health, so I'm very scared right now. I can't go to a doctor bc my parents haven't been a part of my therapy and such.
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