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ClumsyAtype
231 M Embraced 2
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceJuly 7, 2019
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What is left now
Relationship Stress / by ClumsyAtype
Last post
 September 12th, 2019
...See more N, I gave you everything I could and now I realize how little it meant for you and how little respect you have for me. I should have left you when I first noticed your behavior, better, you should have left me when you first noticed you didn't feel the same way about me anymore. I do not believe you when you say that your so-called "friend" has nothing to do with it. Maybe she's not the direct cause that made you dump me but the only fact that you allowed her to behave in a certain way and that you allowed yourself to do the same shows how little our relationship means to you. When you first met me you needed someone to take care of you, to make you feel better, and I did. Maybe you loved me a little by then. After that you spent a whole year letting me being in love with you, thinking of you, being worried for you while you were doing the same for another person. I will never forgive you. You have no idea of how difficult it was to regain my faith in you after everything I have come to know about the two of you. I've tried with all I had while you kept spitting your half-truths on my face. I don't care you believed in what you were saying because if you only stopped to think about it, as I begged you to do, you would have understood what you were doing much sooner and you would not deceive me like this. You have no idea how it costs me to admit that I believed in the wrong person the whole time. I should have trusted my gut and ditch you. Now I don't know if I will ever trust anybody again. I won't forget what I have read, my nightmares about the two of you, my fear of meaning nothing to the most important person in my life. Maybe I have forgiven you before but I can't do it anymore. You don't deserve it. I don't care if you've been cheating on me, it doesn't have to do anything with me anymore. Just know that you have been horrible to me, you had no respect and you should have admitted it from the start. You show off your feelings as they were gigantic, the purest, you were ready to battle everything but instead, you are just a self-centered crybaby. You don't love me now and you dumped me for this. You behaved in the worst way possible, not for two months as you declared, but for a whole year. You could have dumped me after you spent your summer at my place, but you didn't. You could have dumped me when we were having a break, but you didn't, you came back to me more in love than ever (except for the fact that you left me three days after you were gone). You could have dumped me after "her" birthday, but you didn't. You could have asked for time before o dump me every time you came back from her place, but you didn't. You could have dumped me when I caught you sexting with me seated next to you or when you were lying next to me in the bed. And for what? Because you were scared of losing me? Because you needed my attention? Are you happy that you had it like that? If you had been just and honest with me maybe I would have stuck around, could have given you my friendship and my support but you didn't even have the courage of thinking about what was happening. You took everything and didn't give anything back, no respect, no peace, not even love. Maybe you'll convince yourself that I am just angry at you cause you left me but I'm happy you did now. Because if it was all you had to offer me than I'm happy we're over. If I'll miss something it won't be the person you are now but the one I thought you were and that maybe didn't even exist. I am angry because you didn't respect me and you deceived me so many times that we could do it, just to feel good with your self. You have no idea how much it costed me and nobody will give me back the time, the commitment, the love I wasted on you. Nobody. I won't give you my support anymore, nor even my respect. I can't give you anything anymore. You are not the person I fell in love, you are not that person anymore and I doubt you have ever been her. "True love waits"
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