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CookeeMan
140 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceJanuary 16, 2015
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Wish I could help my mom
Disability Support / by CookeeMan
Last post
 January 16th, 2015
...See more I've been disabled (wheelchair) for six years now. I live with my mom, a retired senior, who's also disabled, in fact, using my old wheelchair. We've both been very independent for a long time; I use paratransit service to get around, I grocery shop, I cook our meals, I rely on social services only for things I'm unable to do for myself. The doctors have told me that my condition will get worse over the years, so I don't want to become a bigger burden than I have to be until I have to be. But my mom is another issue; he seems to have given up. She spends most of every day sitting at the window, watching the world go by. She has a social services housekeeper who comes twice a week, and all she does is wash the dishes, take out the trash, and occasionally mop the kitchen floor, basically getting 8 hours pay for 2 hours of work. My sister, who moved in with us after exhausting her savings, does our laundry and runs errands for Mom in exchange for room and board, use of Mom's car, free cable, and wi-fi.  Every day, I listen to them arguing, because she treats our mother like a child, scolding her for not getting up when she tells her to get out of bed, or eating a snack at night. The woman who raised me wouldn't let herself be taken advantage of this way, or be treated this way by her own child. I don't know how much longer I can watch this go on. I've been through physical and occupational therapy, where I learned to adjust, accept the things I can't do, but also to not shy away from what I can. I didn't choose to use adult diapers, bladder protection ads, and urinals, but I accept them over the alternative. I wish my mom would get a little moxie, so she would stand up, at least figuratively, to my sister, and report this rotten excuse for a housekeeper. But I can't make her. If I could, I'd be treating her like the dottering old incompetent woman my sister tells everyone she is. And I want my mom to keep her dignity.
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