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Cradlehag93
659 M Embraced 5
PathStep 26 Compassion hearts126 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes37 Current upvotes37 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2023 Member sinceNovember 3, 2022
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Holidays and traditions
Family & Caregivers / by Cradlehag93
Last post
 November 27th, 2022
...See more This is maybe an odd situation, but I need help feeling my way through it. My mother had a horrible childhood, with an abusive father (who she still idolises 😓). She has had lifelong mental health issues and is probably neurodiverse. Since I had children, and she kindly helped care for them as babies, she really over inserted herself into my family life in terms of traditions and celebrations. She made all the children birthday cakes, which was lovely, but I really wanted to make them, so the children would end up with multiple cakes as my in-laws always got them one too. Because my mother is a hoarder, I have hosted Christmas at my house since I moved out, but my mother was always controlling and telling us how things should be done . She would spend hours sewing the children advent bags and filling them with decorations for them to hang on the Christmas tree, so for three children, that gave 72 decorations each year - like she was decorating my space from a distance. Of course she was very offended if she couldn't see her things on display. I know all these things are echoes of her own wounding. This year my mother had a major psychotic episode and has moved into residential care at the age of 82. For the first time in my adult life I am in a position to really take stock and think with my family about how I want our own traditions to be - and I don't know where to begin. I realise my whole life has been facilitating my mother's wishes, and now know it as co-dependency / enmeshment. How can I free myself ? I am realising my whole life has been framed through trying to meet my mother's needs, and I don't even know what my own needs and wants are, and I'm 47!
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Looking for a buddy for maintaining good habits
Healthy Living / by Cradlehag93
Last post
 November 7th, 2022
...See more Hello, I am looking for an encouraging buddy as I am.so erratic with healthy eating, exercise and sleep. When stress happens I lose good habits easily and I know it would be better if I didn't. Probably looking for someone a similar age, so over 35.
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Exhausted dealing with elderly parents and young children - elderly mother with long term mental health difficulties
General Support / by Cradlehag93
Last post
 November 27th, 2022
...See more Hello, I am in a situation of supporting everyone in my life, my elderly mother who is always very difficult, my elderly in-laws, and I have three young children. I am struggling to manage it all and am looking for coping strategies. My mother is a hoarder, and I have to empty and sell her property too.
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Caring for an elderly parent with mental health difficulties
Family & Caregivers / by Cradlehag93
Last post
 November 6th, 2022
...See more Hello, I am new here, and have joined to hopefully find support in managing my own responses to caring for my elderly mother - who I have only just realised has had lifelong mental health difficulties. I have found myself swept onto an emotional rollercoaster of my mother's feelings, which don't really belong to me. It's also difficult because I am an only child with no nearby family. My Mum's health kept us fairly isolated from family as I was growing up. She is also a hoarder. I am struggling with her move into permanent residential care, and being the only one dealing with everything , especially trying to clear the property for sale. I don't live near the property, and work almost full time and have three young children. It has become to feel like a lot to deal with alone.
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