CrazyWulf Member Profile

...See more Will try to be short as possible. So I am 35yrs old and have had depression my entire life from about 6 on. Besides depression I also have other problems such as severe social anxiety/phoba and so havent had a griend my entire life. Some therapists over my life think I probably have aspergers or some kind of developmental problem. Due to this I have never had any success getting treatment as I avoid social interaction including doctors and therapists even though I have tried and seen dozens in my lifetime. Right now is probably my longest streak of being on meds for about 2 months. So here is where it gets confusing......Despite my social issues I managed to find a girl to marry me and even have 2 kids together. I can only describe this as a fluke, desperation from her part she settled with me for awhile. This was my first girl I even held hands with at 29yrs old. About 5 months ago she got sick of my inability to properly communicate and my other mental problems.so she left. I have had tons of jobs in my lifetime all of them next to minimum wage. I can only get jobs where the interview consists of "Can you start tomorrow", never have passed a real interview even got turned down by fast food places due to them. I never have the motivation to stay with a job for long and currently have been unemployed for about 3 months. On state assistance and basically have been living on $200/month for that. Still at house my wife and I got and about to get evicted. I found some public housing I can move into on the 1st but have no idea how I am going to pay for the deposit or moving expenses. Here's the kicker......my kids 5&6yrs old stay with me 90% of the time. She takes them about every other weekend but besides that its just me and them. I have never moved out by mtself before and have no idea what I am doing. I didnt move out of my parents until I was 29 and that was with her who did all the bills and stuff. I am going to try to apply for disability which is something I should have done 20yrs ago but even though I am sure I would qualify I know it can take years to get. I am not a good father at all and hate the idea of measing my kids up. My daughter (5) is very bright and seems to be normal however my son (6) seems to be already following in my footsteps and probably inherited my bad genes. He is in Kindergarten and his teacher has no idea what to do with him. He is definitely going to fail this year and have to repeat it (I also failed Kindergarten at his age). I want to get him the help I never had but I know its going to involve a lot of Dr visits and teacher meetings......I met with his teacher one time about it and had to drink a few beers beforehand to build up the courage to even do that....Even then she was the one who did all of the talking while I was pretty much silent.....I am surprised she hasn't called CPS to investigate whats hoing on but I believe she may have realized its just what he inherited from our meeting I don't know what I am doing and need some guidance I think....

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