Cruffin Member Profile

...See more Hello everyone! as the title suggests, I don’t know how to handle the fact that I’ll never live my life the way one can normally do so. I should begin by saying I’m very happy with my life. I have a boyfriend who’s there for me most of the time, I’m doing good in school, and I have interests that suit me. I’m on track to go great places and I know that. All of this considered, I still feel so unsatisfied. I look back at my years of school and realize how much experiences I missed out on by being gay. I was an incredibly promising football player and I loved the sport but ended up quitting because of my sexuality. I can’t help but think where I would have been now if I had continued that when I had the chance. I could have had the opportunity to go to a regular high school with a more traditional high school experience however I had to go to an arts school because i was gay and I didn’t want to face the harassment that I faced in middle school for 4 more years. Im still happy where I am today.. but I can’t let go of the fact that I would be a regular 16 year old boy in a regular school, perhaps on the football team as long as I wasn’t gay. Being gay ruined that all for me. In my head I know i can’t blame being gay for all of it. The way I was treated for acting and talking different than other kids in middle school played a big part. but I still feel like a sick toy in the game of life. And I feel like this life i so wanted to live could have been possible if I just wasn’t born like this. How can I cope with this? Or how can I get my life a little bit more to how I want it to be and restore who I once was before I knew I was gay.

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