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Crunklet
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceOctober 5, 2026
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Does this relationship sound like one you'd want?
Relationship Stress / by Crunklet
Last post
 October 6th
...See more * Nobody plans dates. You talk of possibilities in text. But things are only decided the instant she gets in his car, and after every activity's end. * He asks her "What do you want to do?" She usually gives an answer, or she might ask, "I don't know, what do YOU want to do?" And he will tell her "Dunno, you?" And this can repeat until she finally is the one who gives an answer every time. * You both usually walk around in shopping centers together, talking about what's in front of you, or just eating, often without having a conversation for hours besides brief exchanges about what to do next (see above). * She may send long vents about her emotions and past in text, and he in response will text a paragraph about how everyone who hurts her was wrong, and how he loves her and will never leave her. Irl, when she seems mildly upset, he'll kiss her hand and say "I love you." * Sometimes when out walking, she'll say something to him a few times, then stop entirely if he's not responding. * He can just walk up to something when out and start interacting with it, and she'll just wait for him to be done if he's focused (see above). She may continue to say nothing after he's done. * If she has her attention grabbed by something, and pays attention to it, he can walk away to go towards something else, and even if she was mid-sentence after just-then realizing he walked away, she'll just run up to him, saying nothing. * When she brings up to him her own desires to do something right in front of her when out, he might sometimes say the thing might be a bit infeasible or inconvenient, then she'll try to ask clarifying questions or give counter-reasons, then they'll go back and forth a bit, until she agrees to give it up, even if she doesn't understand why. * When he does suggest activities in the brief transition periods, he'll usually suggest scrolling a social media app on his phone in the car, or joyriding around. They can sometimes do each for over an hour. * When he does suggest something they can do days ahead of time, it's always a big event like a fair or going to a different city, so they can stroll around like usual and have their eye caught by something. * He always waits for her to reveal information about herself or what she likes, because he's so content with her that he doesn't need to actively know more. * When he spontaneously talks about things he likes, he doesn't ever need her to say much in return, because he trusts that she's listening. Especially when he talks about family, friend, or job stuff. * He's said offhandedly once he reacts to coffee like an ADHD person would and has two diagnosed relatives. He's also said he has brain fog from working all day, but he feels mentally refreshed from sexual convos and interactions. * She's initiated small sexual touches like a clothing lift or a guided hand, which he either responds to with silence, or saying while smiling, "I don't know what to do" to which she tells him "I don't expect you to." * One thing he initiates is comments about how she'd look hot in something, or jokes about how they'll have to do it in the butt bc of certain nationwide bans. When she asks him, even after a year into the relationship, stuff like "Do you want our first time to be scheduled or spontaneousl?" he'll respond with "I'm not sure" and there will be silence followed by a change in topic. There's no pressure to do anything. * Even after this, he'll do something like touch her breasts skin-to-skin while she's sleeping, without ever discussing the scenario before, during, or after with her. It's only when she is the one who says "Did you enjoy my body?" after they already physically went separate ways for the time being about it is when they first discuss it, and he might say "I was just thinking about that and felt bad because I didn't ask" and she'll say "It's okay <3." And then at the next earliest opportunity  for him to be close to her while she's sleeping, he touches her bare chest under clothes again, after not being told "no." Does this sound like a relationship you would want to be in?
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