Darkrose517 Member Profile

...See more Hi. :) So, I'm not really sure what I have going on. My mom is almost sure it's OCD, but I just don't know. I'm thinking about therapy at this point, but I'm kind of scared. I don't want to over or under exaggerate something and get diagnosed...wrong? If that makes any sense at all... I hate feeling dirty. I wash my hands/use hand sanitizer a lot. To the point where if I don't put lotion on a lot my hands dry out (and I don't always like using lotion cause it feels icky). I wash up my arms too just to make sure everything is clean. If I had a choice I would change my clothes after everytime I go to the bathroom and if I'm at home that's usually what I do. I feel like I have pee or something like that on me and I'm gonna get it on other things like chairs and everything is going to be gross. But I worry that it's not just in my head. I'm also dealing with depression stuff, so I stay in one place a lot and I never want to deal with peeing so I hold it and I know it leaks sometimes (sorry if TMI) and I almost never want to clean the house...so what if everything (including me) is just gross and this is how I deal with it. It also doesn't make sense because if I let myself I can go days without showering or brushing my teeth, but God forbid I don't wash my hands all the time. I have intrusive thoughts sometimes and I've taken to knocking on things (like 'knock on wood') to make them go away. It's a lot less of an issue than the cleanliness thing, though.

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