DawnShadow Member Profile

...See more I have been struggling with binge eating disorder for 13 years. Im 23 now, and I dont want the rest of my life to be like this. Recently it has been so much worse, over the past year in particular, as I have been slowly working towards taking steps to be more aware of my feelings and because I have stopped self-harming, I have come back to using only my eating disorder to cope. I don't know how to recover. I have seen nutritionists who specialize in eating disorders, and both of them said my first step is to eat regularly. 3 meals a day, and 2 snacks. I can't even get this part down, and I have been working on this for over a year. I am no longer seeing either of the nutritionists as paying $100 for 30 minutes to say the same things over and over again- that I need to develop a structure to my meals and stick to it. But I am so scared of having structure. Food has this crazy power over me, and i feel like if i cant have what I want when I want it, I am restricting myself and that is just going to cause me to binge again. Im scared to even try to limit food at this point because it just scares me that much. I don't know how to make a structure I can work with, especially not on my own, I feel like everything will be wrong about it, and I will make poor choices with what foods to eat, or make a great plan, but feel restricted by it and just not follow it at all. I feel so backwards because most people are terrified of overeating or bingeing. but I am afraid of restricting my intake. Maybe someone can relate to this. or tell me im not crazy. or share with me their approach to recovery from B.E.D.

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