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Delaram501
936 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 79 Compassion hearts107 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceMay 9, 2021
Bio

28 y/o Problem checklist: -ADHD✅ -Got my self and mother and younger sister out of Domestic Violence ✅ - on a FREEZE response and depression and whatnot✅️

Recent forum posts
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No other choice and small chance of succeeding at the one I got
Anxiety Support / by Delaram501
Last post
 November 10th, 2021
...See more I live in a hostile house my dad do not approve nothing about me and my 10 years younger sister constantly shame every single thing about me from my body and looks to my academic status😒 (I graduated bachelor 3 months ago) plus living in a very small populate town in a country where woman have no right on anything means I have no chance of finding a providing job and getting independent and there is no way my father would support me on the job front he thinks woman should not work and just marry (thank you very much I already have one toxic man in my life, I rather die before thinking about marriage plus he cant provide a dowry which is the brides father part of the marriage which is him having to buy me a house full of furniture from fridge and oven to tv and bed😏 the mans family will provide the house it self and wedding charges) this situation leaves me but one choice: academic migration aka applying for masters to a foreign country and hoping that they would accept my not so great but not so awful bachelor scores (I already have somewhere very faraway in mind) so I can legally run away from my fathers house without him being able to come after me and hope that I can graduate on said foreign country and also hope that I can apply for permanent visa and live there after graduation 🤞 and because I've been cornered like this I'm constantly afraid of my masters apply not getting accepted and I have a year to get my shit together and apply (I lost this years deadline because my exams got pushed back for covid and I didn't graduate in time...) so I'll end up with one of the two very distinct futures: One I possibly die in my fathers house (not suicide though I'm not there YET) two, I get accepted leave all this behind and even if I do accepted, do I have what it takes to survive on a foreign country and make life for myself??? but then I don't have any other options so.... (on the second look this looks like a very bad very unnecessarily dramatic story😑🤦‍♀️)
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Between the pressure from University and my abusive father I'm freaking LOSING it
Anxiety Support / by Delaram501
Last post
 June 7th, 2021
...See more Hi so I'm 25 last semester of university, another moth and I'll get my bachelor in geology... IF I survive the next 20 or so days my first final exam is this Saturday it's a super hard course and a super strict professor with zero mercy! I've been studying for a week or so and still hadn't finished the first round And then after Saturday I have 5 exams in 4 days meaning one exam every day and then a two exams in one day and then another two weeks of exams with better space between the exams so one week of marathon exam and a two weeks of cross-country run and since this is the last semester every one of this courses are super hard with massive volumes 6-7handred pages each and I'm ADHD so this kind of schedule seems like a personal torture straight from hell and on top it all my of father tries to discredit me and pick fights and get on my nerves like the other day I was washing the dishes and had my headphones on to listen to some music to calm down a little So he come to the kitchen tells me that I can't listen to music while I'm washing the dishes pulls my headphone and shredded it into 5-6 pieces and then hits me and get my hair and bangs my head on counter like 3-4 times before my mom comes and pulls him away I have nowhere else to go I'm super stressed because of my exams And now I'm afraid if his going to slit my throat and kill me while I'm sleep at night
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