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DepressedPanda23
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PathStep 3 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2025 Member sinceOctober 26, 2023
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I'm sorry, but...
Relationship Stress / by DepressedPanda23
Last post
 November 19th, 2023
...See more Warning:⚠️ +18 I just really need to get this out, the story is kinda dumb and insignificant but I don't know what to do with myself. This might get a little too descriptive, so I'm sorry. I'm 15 btw, not making very good choices but whatever. So, last night I went to this party at school and my bf went to and we ended up walking off to go do "stuff". I only lost my v card to him a while ago so that stuff is still really painful for me. I ended up really just *** him off the whole time, but he really wanted inside me so I let him try a couple of times. I was trying to go slow into it when he pushed into me and I pulled away and said stop, but then he grabbed me and pushed back in really deep and at that point I was terrified so I flipped over and he could tell I was scared and I was trying to get away from him and he started hugging my legs and apologizing. I finished him off and then we went back. He doesn't even realize what he did. He was apologizing because he hurt me, but what hurts is the fact that he promised we were gonna take it a whatever pace I needed and then he pulled that *** because he couldn't help himself. Also, he said that he was gonna make up for all the times he's promised he would do "stuff" for me and then didn't and I ended up just pleasuring him the whole time. In the moment I didn't feel as pressured, but now looking back I really did not want him actually inside me at all and I hate myself for letting him pressure me because I know better. I can't stop thinking about that. I don't know or understand what I feel. And I've felt like this before, and I hate it because it makes me question my security with him. Because I've always felt so happy and safe with him, but now I don't know how to feel. And maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I'm stupid, idk. I know that I'm stupid, actually. But anyways, thanks for at least reading this.
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