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DeusExNihil
148 M Embraced 1
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2016 Member sinceAugust 4, 2015
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It's ok
Trauma Support / by DeusExNihil
Last post
 March 2nd, 2016
...See more I met the love of my life. Maybe it is just idolizing her memory but she was just about as perfect as I could hope for. We were adolescent lovers with time limits and somehow got back together in adulthood. We helped each other out, she kept me off my edge and I kept her from teetering over hers. That builds a hell of a bond. She got me into rehab when I was trying to kill myself, and my life just kept getting better. We had such a wonderful relationship, we went so well together. Then she got sick. At first, the antibiotics gave her pancreatitis and the hospital staff wouldn't treat her properly. She was screaming in pain while I fought the nurses to give her meds. Every two hours for days until they figured it out. She seemed to get better for a couple days. Then back in the hospital for a week. Back and forth like this, for three months. I held on to the blind hope that she would get better. In the end we had to fight her to keep her cpap mask on. She was barely conscious. The last words she spoke to me were when she looked into my eyes while fighting off the doctors. She was crying and begged me to help. She didn't want help living. She knew the game was up. She wanted help dying. Even the doctors agreed that there was nothing left that they could do. Seven hours of comfort measures and her heart gave out. She opened her eyes one last time at 7:45am and I told her that I love her and that it is ok.
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schizotypal personality disorder fun time
Personality Disorders Support / by DeusExNihil
Last post
 March 5th, 2016
...See more Hello all👋 So I'm finally seeing a mental health professional tomorrow and am rather anxious about it. It's been a while since I've seen one and I'm fairly certain as to what I will hear. Over the last 8 years I've been diagnosed with a variety of conditions that varied so broadly that I stopped trusting the doctors (from a.d.d. to bipolar to paranoid schizophrenia to aspergers to depression to anxiety to o.c.d. to "you're just going theough a tough patch", roughly in that order). I recently learned of schizotypal personality disorder and the overlap is frightening, as I'm still hanging on to the last sentiment (I mean, it's a hell of a rough patch but here's to hoping). I've been ineffectively treated for so many things (the first round led to suicide attempts, the last led to a debilitating crack and heroin addiction) that I wonder if any real good can come of the most updated methods of treatment. I've half a mind to back out or just keep my backup story on queue. Anyway, does anyone have any experience with this (meaning schizotypal personality disorder)? Should I be as worried as I am?
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