DogAndButterfly7777 Member Profile

...See more I just broke up with a man who had a habit of using the silent treatment against me whenever we had a disagreement. This would go on and on until I essentially got on my hands and knees to beg for forgiveness (even during times when I did nothing to cause upset). This last time was due to him canceling our plans last minute. I was already en route to his house, but he didn't care. He demanded I not come over. I turned around and drove back home. For reference, his house is 40 minutes away from me. I texted him to say how hurt I felt by his words and actions. No response. I decided to give him space, and didn't contact for several days. After a few days, I decided to check in and simply gave a text saying, "Hey just checking in to see how you're doing. I'm sorry if I upset you in any way the other night, that was not my intention." Again, I was apologizing when there was nothing for me to apologize for. He canceled plans. He was cold and nasty, saying don't come over. I simply gave in. That text also got no response, so after about 7 hours I had enough. He had used the silent treatment for the last time. I told him that I felt he was weaponizing the silent treatment and that was a form of emotional abuse. I was tired of it and told him to stop abusing me. Didn't matter to him. I was ignored again. Whats worse is that I owe him money for helping me the previous month with a car issue. I told him I'd pay him back, and have begun to do so. I sent a cashiers check via certified mail and notified him via text and email (email with the transaction and tracking numbers). Again, no response. I'm at a total loss. I tried so hard in the relationship to make things work. We were together for a total of 9 months. Most of that time, yes, he weaponized the silent treatment. I glossed over it by focusing on the fact that he would cook for me, take me to dinner, take me on trips and buy expensive things for me. I thought, "He must care! He's doing all this nice stuff for me when he could just leave me." I was so deep in love I didn't care about the negative. It isn't so easy for me to move on because I invested a lot of time and emotions on the relationship. I gave him my heart. And instead of focusing on myself, I'm worried about the fact that he's moved on already or was cheating on me, which makes me feel worse. I feel like a fool. The worst part of all is that we work together. Not all the time, but every once in awhile. I have to work with him in 2 weeks and it gives me so much anxiety. I just don't know how to process all of this and move on. Especially without closure. He's a grown, middle-aged man and can't even have the common decency to break things off. That's the lowest of low in my eyes.

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