Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Eduardo1901
1 491 M Embraced 4
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceAugust 14, 2015
Bio
Recent forum posts
Eduardo1901 profile picture
BPD: sexuality dubiety and relationships
Personality Disorders Support / by Eduardo1901
Last post
 July 26th, 2019
...See more Hi, my name is Eduardo (Edward) and I don't have BPD (only depression T.T). I am here because of my beloved, Eric, who is currently institutionalized after a crisis. I wasn't oficially told, because his family ignores me, but he was probably diagnosed with BPD. My focus in this thread is to hear from this community stories about you discovering and dealing with your own sexuality. I've read and been told that people with BPD have a really hard time with "selfness": who you are, what or who you like or dislike, what you wanna do for life etc. I would like to discuss about how that relates to your sexuality: have you always been clear about wether you're heterossexual, gay, bissexual, assexual or so on? Not clear at all? Have you been in a discovery process? If so, were you able to understand yourself better? How was this process? I think you already got it a.a' I am gonna write my story here in the shortest way possible and thus a little confuse and very undetailed. If anyone ever wanna know the full version, just ask me. I won't do it now because it really takes a lot of time and energy. I wanted to hear stories from the community in order to think about how I should welcome him back and deal with our relationship after he comes back. I don't wanna push him to another crisis but I also don't wanna lose him... Eric and I have been friends since we met at college and I helped him out with his final paper in Law. He always new I was gay: since I had a little crush on him, I found a way of telling it without being awkward. However, I never flirted with him but I've always felt like he was giving me hints of not being bissexual. I don't wanna me this text too long, so I won't give details right now (anyone may ask me later if necessary). Well, then our friendship evolved to a point that last year, around August, Eric started living kind of by himself (his dad built him a little place in the back of his field) and invited me to sleep over for some time and help him out with settling down, building stuff, grow a garden etc. I ended up staying there for 3 months and we were living like a couple, sleeping in the same bed, cooking, shopping and cleaning together, and even talking about our health and out poop x'D He was talking about living with me for real, about building a better room for me and about us supporting each other financially. Then everything changed when the fire nation... I mean, when his girlfriend broke up with him (around 6 months dating). As he couldn't stand to be single, he crawled to her. Cutting some part of a long and intense story, I got very anxious because of his wanting to come back with her and kind of leaving me as a back up, so I told him I loved him, and he reciprocated for some time. We got close to a point of he offering to kiss me (I denied in respect to his dubiety), of talking about how would sex be we went further. The problem is that, until our last minutes together before he was taken away, dealing with the fact he was bissexual was pretty hard for him. His dad is a japanese retired Colonel and his mother is a very catolic police officer who came from the countryside .-. He had nightmares about it and all. We once had a fight and I wasn't empathetic enough about his struggling, so he stepped back. Then he compulsively started dating troublesome girls, and I feel like he was desperately trying to suceed with any girl just so he could have a reason to fully avoid me and his sexuality dubiety. He got very psychologically ill in January and basically stopped talking to me; then, to the girl he was hanging out and everybody else; until he had a violent crisis in February: he got rid of basically all his belongings, started drinking (he'd never had a drop), then at night he took a hammer and destroyed some walls and windowns while completely naked at 2am :/ He also punched his dad's ear, making him lose a little of his hearing; they had to take them all to the hospital and sedate Eric. A week later, his dad took him away to a institution for intensive psychotherapy for said 6 months (he should be back by the end of August, I guess). Right now I can only worry about his coming back. At the same time, I feel both guilty for somehow contributing for his crisis but I also like, if I had actually accepted his kisses and other demonstrations of him trying to get close to me instead of just "trying to respect" him, maybe he wouldn't be so doubtful, maybe he wouldn't have stopped talking to me or had a crisis at all... I am sorry, there are just so many lacking information :/ Really, if any of you could just share your experiencies, it would be very very helpful. Thank you
Search more from @Eduardo1901
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
12 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat Reconnect First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Bundled Teammate Forum Friend Strong Bond I
Report an issue