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EnergySensitive
1 14,147 M Pacing Forward 10
PathStep 587 Compassion hearts257 Forum posts562 Forum upvotes408 Current upvotes408 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2025 Member sinceNovember 18, 2017
Bio

I'm so damaged that I cannot be fixed. The MDD and severe panic have been around since elementary school. I feel hopeless. And losing my grip.

Recent forum posts
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Why do I bother
Depression Support / by EnergySensitive
Last post
 May 14th, 2019
...See more I hate living so much. I try, I really do but nothing ever works out. I just end up setting myself up for disappointment. When I do try to be positive, or social, I'm shot down. Every step forward is a hundred back. Im in a hole so deep. When I try to climb out I just bury myself more. Why can't it just all be over. Please!
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Being heard
Depression Support / by EnergySensitive
Last post
 April 10th, 2019
...See more Not being heard is one of the most hurtful things there is.
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Listener chats
Site Updates / by EnergySensitive
Last post
 January 3rd, 2019
...See more I don't understand why past one on one chats are deleted. I've posted about this before but I feel very strongly about this. From someone who fears abandonment and suffers from several illnesses it is important to me to look back at chats. I know for me looking back at messages, any kind, is helpful and useful to me. They bring back that moment or that conversation and can help ease anxiety. I can get a glimpse of things said, advice offered, kind words said. It can nudge me out of a rut. Its using past experiences to try to hopefully grow and move forward. It can put things back in perspective, whether the conversation took place yesterday but only 10 messages show, or 3 months ago. These can be the ones that are most helpful. Reading those past chats may demonstrate a growth or an area that still needs attention for growth. Past knowledge is often the best. Having old chats available (the whole chat) can show you patterns of feelings or behaviors. Scream out to you possible triggers in your life that you may not notice in the present. Past one on one chats, when re-read can offer a sense of calm, bring a moment of peace, teach us, show us, and hopefully give you a push forward, from something in the past. Another reason I feel one on one's should be saved and stored is because its not only beneficial to the member but the listener. I have listeners for different issues or topics. Example one listener may be for grief support while another for a diagnoses. Or whatever the reason. Such as, I've been talking with a listener over a period of time now. With this listener I'm in the middle of a story that is difficult to tell, breaks are needed. The listener is aware that there is more and I just can't get it out yet. They are patient and we can pick back up after weeks of no content. In this situation, what have I already said, where am I in the story, did I share this piece, etc... I don't know because only the last 10 messages are there and they are not relevant to what I need to know. Also, in every case, I'm not the only person this listener is working with so they should be able to review the prior conversations. Helping so many people you want to be sure you are in fact talking to the person that is dealing with this..... For the listener to be able to jog their memory! You can only take so many notes while working with so many people with a wide range of topics. For listeners and member alike screen shots are hard to keep up with and before the end of the session the first half is already gone. Personally this causes me anxiety. Especially if I was exceptionally upset and typing faster than I can think. Im reading the responses but I'm also not fully present absorbing right then what the listener is really saying. When I have calmed down I could go back and read the whole conversation and be calm enough to really take it in. I think everybody should have a choice. To keep the entire conversation or not. Even be able to delete just certain parts, as in a text message. I've seen posts about what to have in your emotional wellness bag and for me, its old messages. They help me in many ways. Please consider this option. I feel very strongly about this and believe it should be THE COMMUNITY'S INDIVIDUAL CHOICE.
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