EvilDarkOverLord Member Profile

...See more My wife and I separated about a year ago, the love was real and the so was the pain. Today she told me that the pain was too much for her to handle and said she'd look for me in another life. For the first time in our years being married I didn't fight it. We are taught as individuals be it though media, family or community to fight for what you love but what if you encounter someone else who is okay with giving up? Do you keep pushing for the both of you? Do you keep trying even though you only hurting yourself? These are the are the questions I battled with during our year of separation. I noticed a pattern of us trying to fix things and then her saying she is hurting to much the first time I was driven to "fix us" , I was driven to be a better man but most of all I was driven to keep her in my life. But every time we got to a okay spot , she would ignore me or start throwing the past in my face and we would fight. Recently after not talking for weeks we tried to talk again and she told me she still loves me and wants a future. I was driven but wary of he pattern and gave it another shot. Today she sent me those dreadful blame text , only this time I had forgiven myself. I no longer felt I had a reason to blame myself. I told her that I love her through her anger, pain and rage. I let her know I understand her pain is real and I am her. She continued saying telling me all I've done wrong and telling me she couldn't believe she dealt with it and I apologized. I told her she didn't deserve what I had put her through and told her I'm here and she told me that me being here was the problem. But she wanted me to be there so she should go. Then told me she'll meet me in another life. She said she loved me over and over but I realized at this point in my life that if she loved me as I did her then we would both be driven to one another. I told her that I love her and I hope she's able to heal her heart. For the first time ever I acceptedy defeat, I accepted that I couldn't make someone love me. When we separated it felt like my life was over and like no one could ever love me again. But sense then Ive been spending time building myself up, healing and becoming the very man I wanted to me. If I had stayed in that sorry state and kept allowing someone who doesn't love me enough to keep cutting me down then I would have allowed them to make me miserable and you know what they say about misery. I'm not sure why exactly I've decided to share this but I guess that it's for the men on here dealing with similar struggles. Keep pushing forward and keep bettering yourself and building that foundation of self respect and love and you will be able to endure the worst of things. Even if it feels like your at the end, keep building your path to a better future and keep being the best version of yourself.

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