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Ezosphere
522 M Embraced 4
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceMay 9, 2021
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Ruin everything
Relationship Stress / by Ezosphere
Last post
 January 11th, 2022
...See more On the outside it looks like I am confident, happy and independent. However on the inside it is not like that. I have intimacy problems. I cannot trust. I have so many insecurities with my body and my personality. I cannot be myself around my love interest. I overthink. I have fear of abondonement and rejection. I cannot share my true feelings and discuss them. Although I want to shower him with all the love in the world I hold myself back. So I make mistakes and ruin everything. Despite all of that I fall hard in love. Because I crave love and affection more than anything. That's why I always walk on eggshells.( fear of rejection) I tend to say yes and immediately apologize even if I am right. I always try to convince myself that I will never find my SO and stop searching. It works most of the time but not always. When I ruin things I sucked into depression. I blame myself and my soul hurts. I am exhausted to pick up the pieces of my broken soul. My last relationships were disasters and now I ruined another one. I hate being like this. I feel like a broken thing that nobody wants. Thanks for reading.
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