Fiyaa06 Member Profile

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Fiyaa06

2 814 M Little Steps

PathStep 17 Compassion hearts74 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes26 Current upvotes26 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2026 Member sinceNovember 27, 2024

Bio

You should never have to question if your good enough for anyone or anything. You're more than enough. Trust in God, he sees you.

I'm struggling myself... but my faith in him has taken me so far. Don't be afraid, ashamed or worried... just go to God. Prayer to him and be patient.

Hello! I'm Fiya,

I'm struggling with depression. I have no source of freedom, I'm not allowed to leave my house myself (due to some serious dangers around my country, I understand.), I don't have my own space to let go of anything. I've only been taught to bottle up for years. Slowly, I'm learning to love myself again after years of giving myself away to others. I do truly love helping people but it's caused me a great expense of my own value.

What I'm trying to say is, it's okay. You're going to be okay, it's not time yet, don't go, hold on. Love you, please take care!❤

Recent forum posts

How do I get over this breakup?

Newbie Hub / by Fiyaa06

February 11th, 2025

...See more Hello! I'm Fiya and I've recently gone through a breakup. For context; we broke up because we didn't want the same things, I wasn't ready for some stuff and neither was he, we have very different family backgrounds, his family is very supportive, mine... not so much. He has a series of mental illnesses, one of the major ones being tourette's syndrome. He and I were best friends for 3 years before we got together and we were together for a year. We broke up on January 6th 2025. He was my first relationship and I was his. He and I are still good friends but now I just feel kind of uncomfortable. When we broke up, I brush it off quickly because I had some work I needed to catch up on, so i didn't give myself a chance to actually let the effects of breaking up settle in, I didn't cry or anything about it, I just worked like crazy. But now that work has settle down, all the effects are coming in at once, at nights I cry, everyday so far I've been down and nothing motivates me. I tried talking to him about it but I quickly broke the conversation because I felt uncomfortable and I thought that wasnt fair to him. We don't seem like we're going to get back together and I'm fine with that, but I can't stop feeling so worthless. He was the only person who actually showed me genuine love and care. He was the only person I felt comfortable with telling everything to and doing things with.. now, I don't ever want to talk, I'm never motivated to do anything with him, if anything, I'm avoiding him and he keeps trying to catch my attention over and over again. He got me to stop bottling up my emotions, he was the only person I stayed trued too, but now, I don't even tell him anything. It hurt like *** when we broke up, but I didn't allow myself the chance to feel anything then, maybe I should have. I have no idea how he's feeling, at first, he wasnt doing good, it bothered him like crazy but now, I think he's doing okay. I don't know. How do I get over all of this? Can someone help me... please?

I hate myself

Depression Support / by Fiyaa06

November 28th, 2024

...See more I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety. I'm 18 years old and I'm already feeling like a failure and someone who isn't worthy of love or care. When I tell people about my problems they always tell me to go out more and go have fun, come out the house more but the truth is, I can't. I have very strict parents, I can't go anywhere without them coming with me, and I have a rocky relationship with my parents. Some days we're really good and others days we aren't. My parents get mad at me for the simplest of things. Today, my mom got *** off at me for not locking up the house on time (It takes less than a minute and we didn't leave till like 5 minutes later). But I felt really bad. I always try to take the blame for anything, even if logically it isn't my fault. Anytime my parents or anyone raises their voice at me I start to cry and panic, sometimes I shake. I replay all the things my parents called me when I was younger in those moments. They would give me names like, "selfish, horrible, I'm a terrible person" and many more. I'm tired to permanently off myself. I've been struggling with that since I was 13 years old, I'm 18 years old now and I still struggle with it. I have a boyfriend and he knows about about my problems and tries to help me. I made a promise to him that I wouldn't off myself, but everyday it gets increasingly harder. I became "that" because of my parents. They always wanted me to be this "perfect person" and anytime I didn't achieve that goal they would get mad at me. I won't go into details about how I tried to off myself but I attempted it 4 times already. I always find myself plotting my own death. My boyfriend tells me to talk to him anytime I get that close again but if I were to tell him when I plan that I would be talking to him eveyday. We talk everyday and we talk about many things, I try my best never to bring those topics up with him because he's sensitive to it, and even when he tells me to, I still struggle to open up to him because of my past experiences. When I told my parents I was "that" and I told them why (because of them), they told me that it's not their fault for me wanting to off myself and that I should be ashamed for trying to blame them for it. I don't feel happy, every positive emotion feels temporary. I want full happiness, I want to be able to breathe. I don't want to live in a house where I have to keep gambling for my own happiness. I always talk down on myself, I have trauma and I just want out. I can't help but feel like a failure. There is so much I want to say but I can't get the words out. I plan to move to the US and start a life out there, because it's always been my dream. I'm making small steps to that journey but it feels so long and hard to achieve. Right now, I'm doing a course that will help me be able to get employed in the States. I just want to be happy with myself, I just want to love myself. (Sorry for any mistakes in spelling, I tend to miss words when I'm venting.)

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