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Funeeface
216 M Embraced 2
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts59 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2023 Member sinceAugust 17, 2022
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Looking From the Outside In...
Relationship Stress / by Funeeface
Last post
 March 28th, 2023
...See more I have been in a relationship for almost 7+ years now and I am at a crossroad. I fell in love with someone who promised me the world. Promised me a future, the "fairy-tale ending". I thought we were growing to grow old together, watch our children have children. But then, in almost an instant, my world came crashing down around me ... He worked long, late-night hours and would usually be home 9;00pm at the latest. I didn't hear from him. So I waited. 10:30pm rolls around. Still nothing. My mind starts to go to the negative. Surely, I am just over-reacting and he will home soon enough. So I let my mind wander for a little bit then I eventually fall asleep. I wake up and it is 8am in the morning. I rush to the window and see that his truck is now parked in the driveway as it should be. Maybe he stayed at a friends? Maybe ... I check my phone, nothing. I start to panic. I look at his social media, nothing. I call his friends, family, nothing. I panic more and more, thinking the worst. I call every police in the 100 mile area. They have no record of him. His family hasn't heard from him either. Finally I call the police one more time, and I find out he is currently sitting in jail. My whole *@45ing world STOPS. What? What are you saying? ... No. I get a call, its my partner of 7+ years. He tells me its a case of wrong person at the wrong place and time. ... I have to be honest, I would never in a million years ever think my partner to be that kind of person, ever. So I believe him, so this is a matter of head over heart for me now. I have suffered with what I can almost compare to PTSD like symptoms. I have anxiety, and I trust absolutely NO ONE. I have lost a job because of my depression, PTSD, and anxiety. It was to the point I was sleeping on my floor because my sense of security was gone. I recently got into healing myself and strengthening my faith and spirituality. That has helped tremendously. However, I still find myself feeling like my life is a movie. It is so unreal. All while trying to cope with feeling like I lost my partner. Raising 3 children on my way. Going from two income to just one, trying to keep a house I can barely afford so my children have some sense of security. Listening to too many peoples opinions about whether I should stay or go. I love him. I love him so much and I thought he was my person. He was my rock, he was there for me through so much trauma and I owe him alot of thanks. I'm not perfect myself, and I feel guilty because I'm at a point now where I don;t know if I want to wait 4+ years. Is that wrong of me? Am I being selfish? I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to make the wrong choice. This isn't an easy "flip a coin" situation, because no matter what I choose to do, one of us will get hurt. His family wants me to stay, my family wants me to leave ... hahaha like, I don't know anymore. I feel so out of it. Like I'm not myself anymore. It hurts so much to even have to make a choice. Because either way I feel selfish. Third person perspective on this would help alot. I know at the end of the day I have to be the one to choose. I just don't want to make the wrong choice. PLEASE HELP!
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To the friend I haven't met yet..
Anxiety Support / by Funeeface
Last post
 August 17th, 2022
...See more To the friend I haven't met yet, I am here for you. I 've felt it to too. That heavy burdening weight. Why can't we sleep it off? I just want to stay in bed today too. Let's hide under the covers and maybe it will go away. "It's okay, I'm here with you." It's okay to be sad, let the pain out, let me be your comfort, friend. Let those tears flow. Let me hear your heart cry out! I am here for you. I've felt it too. No, we are not worthless. No the world wouldn't be better off. STOP! You are worth SO much to me! I love every bit of what makes you, you. The good. The bad. When you are hurting. When you are overfilled with joy. When you are caring. Yes, even when you are in one of those moods. I am here for you. Keep going. We got this, friend. You've got this, friend. To the friend I haven't met yet; I want you to know you are not alone in this big wide world. I am here for you. I can be your listening ear. Vent to me. I can be your shoulder to cry on. Cry. Find your peace. I wish you well friend I haven't met yet. ❤️✌️🤟
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