GoldieFish Member Profile

Following The Path

Student Support / by GoldieFish

April 9th

...See more Pre-school was when I was the most of afraid of being notice by anyone. Elementary was when I got courage to invite my classmate to be my groupmate and we've become friends until now. Highschool was when the most chaotic and memorable times of my life. Senior highschool was my eye opener and when I realized what matters the most. Now College, it's the last step. "The future is not us to see." They say. I would like to close my eyes and imagine what i wanted to become in next 4 years. I would be more wiser. I would be more independent. I would be more kinder. I would be more peaceful. I would be more happier. It's not impossible because what i have at the moment is my youth, the perfect time to have fun, make mistakes and learn along the way. 4 years is short but i want to make it more memorable. "I won't fail." — Not because i am confident. This is my promise to the stars and to those people who wish me the best. I posted 3 times here in this app and this is probably gonna be my last time. Hopefully i would update this thread when my wish was heard. "May my wish be blown by the wind and spread it around the world. I also hope it reaches the heaven."

Define yourself

Motivation & Accountability / by GoldieFish

June 22nd, 2022

...See more "Tell a truth about yourself." To define who you think you are. Without finding your reflections to others. Not all their opinions about you, are correct. Some of them based from love or hatred and even indifference. My Enemies would hate me even if i saved the world. My Companions would love me even if i destroy the world. Should I save my ungrateful enemies or Should I do whatever i want because my companions would always accept me no matter what. If i focus on myself and ran away. Would my enemies leave me alone Would my companions stay with forever. Either way. My path would received an endless ridicules and supports. But i have to take the path alone. Without the curse of my enemies. Without the guide of my companions. I can't satisfy both of them because i couldn't afford to lose or win at the same time. Why i am still focusing on my enemies. Because sometimes their hatred confused me or If there is really something wrong with me. Why i am still focusing on my companions. Because some of them appeared on my life in my best and some of them held my hand at my worst. Yet, I can't hold them forever. I can befriend my enemies but the disconnection with my companions almost made me questions myself more than the doubts of my enemies. I don't know who i am. I could only figure it out myself whether my enemies are right or my companions are wrong. I am what i think i am. If i think i am good, i shouldn't listen to my enemies' mocking words. If i think i am worst, i shouldn't listen to my companions' sugar coating words. Listen to both of them and THINK. THINK before you Define Yourself Note: >English is my second language. >i am thankful i found this app. ^//^

Friendships

Relationship Stress / by GoldieFish

June 24th, 2022

...See more Friendships is precious A bond that was unbreakable. People who brings joy and teaches you a lot of fun and memorable experiences. I used to think friendship is beautiful and it should be perfect. I was idealistic and that mindset at some point made me suffered. You're growing older and getting mature. Your friends are growing older and getting mature. Teenage friendships are the most epic yet tragic. Perharps let's blame the youth or ourselves because we are so young to understand the reality. Hurting each other and having fun together. Some would leave for a reason and someone would turn their backs at you for no reason at all. "That's okey." That's the first thing i said to myself when a years passed by and i was together with my new friends whom i was grateful for because they are wonderful people. But sometimes i would still remember my former friends who tried to helped me but i failed them. I couldn't forever blame my mental illnessesor my immature attitude that led to those painful ending. It all started with simple conversation and ends up with bitter miscommunications. We all had forgave each other and that's the last time i've talked to them. Sometimes i wished we did not have end up our connections with sorry and sorrow. I saw one of them again and i want to say hi but they aren't looking into my eyes even though they are infront of me. I don't know how to react so i didn't say anything. It was really bitter but i guess, i'll never gonna see that person again since they will be living abroad. Sometimes i want to scold my younger self for hurting them, maybe if i listened to them carefully that day, maybe even if we're longer friends we can still smile at each other or i can atleast say hi without embarassing myself. I will always remember them and remind myself to never hurt anyone again. So i began to cherish the people in my life right now. Listen and heal myself without damaging other people. I am grateful i had met them and if there is parallel universe, i hope my other self would spare some minutes to listen to them carefully and make a better ending for all of us.

Self love is magical

Positivity & Gratitude / by GoldieFish

May 15th, 2022

...See more I used to be very shy and quiet even in the crowd. When i was a child, adults will praise me for being obedient because i don't usually talk and just nod most of the time. I always have those thoughts that: "Everyone is looking at me because i'm ugly." "Everyone hates me because i'm like this." Teenage life was fun however insecurities was my biggest enemy that time. I have very low confidence with myself and i used to think whatever i do, it's all my fault. My classmates would made fun of me for always saying sorry for little things. (Ex, bumping into a person or things.) Whenever i think of those moments i will laugh because i was very different right now. Yes, i had changed and fortunately for the better. I no longer thinks, i have to please anyone. Well, i'm still kind but there are times i would be indifferent because it was reasonable especially on those people who don't deserve your time. I will now walk on the street, crowd or anywhere with my chin up and big smiles. Sometimes i would still asked myself whether i look silly because i am walking as if i am the main character or sometimes to prevent myself from getting anxious i would imagine myself as a side character that no matter what i do even if i tripped and fell, people wouldn't notice. I am still working on it and it was ups and downs development. I just know if my younger self and current self met, it would be hilarious because i would be talking non-stop while my younger self would only listen and smile awkwardly. I used to hold my mom's sleeve in public. I was very nervous and always thought i would get lost but last month when we're at the mall with my relatives i saw my mom behide me, following me as i lead the way. Nobody really could understand me but myself. Once my therapist told me to believe i was pretty and i shouldn't doubt myself. My therapist was very happy when she saw again last year with my playful smile/laugh and i finally gained weight. Umm she also scolded me for drinking/eating unhealthy foods like milk tea, mcdo and chocolate. Last time i talked to her, i told her i was becoming better and i stopped my medication because i no longer needed it. The only problem i have was my school. For the last time she advice me to get a table and sat there, do my work like a normal student. I am still holding on those words and an hour ago, after months of procastination i finally opened my computer and did my school research. From self hating, i finally found good in myself. All those doubts that seems so endless was slowly becoming invisible. Note: • English is my second language. • I need to fill my cup (yey)

Bio

Recent forum posts

Considering Therapy?

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio

Recent forum posts

Considering Therapy?

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Personal Conversation Requests

General Conversation Requests

New Messages