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HiMisterKyle
715 M Little Steps
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts89 Forum upvotes78 Current upvotes78 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2019 Member sinceJanuary 12, 2017
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My truth
Depression Support / by HiMisterKyle
Last post
 November 9th, 2017
...See more I'm close to edge. I've been thinking of ending it for a while now I haven't seen the point of anything for awhile now. I've been waking for months now asking myself why. I try to be positive, I try things that should help me move forward but I feel constantly reminded that everything I do is pointless and I'm really tired. I'm constantly on the verge of breaking down everyday but I keep it because it's hard to even explain why I'm like this. I'm Writing this right now a very calm state and that scars me. I feel like I'm at the point where I am at the point where I'm just collecting reasons to justify my actions and I'm just noting them down so I can say, you see, I tried but nothing went right so what's the point I literally can't see future past the day I'm in I'm going to end anytime soon but I feel like I'm ready let go of this life
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Rolling back
Depression Support / by HiMisterKyle
Last post
 October 30th, 2017
...See more I've noticed that I feel okay only when I drink, otherwise I just Want to cry all the time. But I the same time I can't express any emotion, I feel numb
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Empty
Depression Support / by HiMisterKyle
Last post
 October 24th, 2017
...See more I'm numb right now and I hate it, I'm angry, sad and so frustrated but I can't let these emotions out I just seem tired all the time, I can't take this, I need a out, I'm just going to borrow some money so I can buy booze and drink myself sleep, this feeling is beyond messed up. I need it to stop
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Next week
Depression Support / by HiMisterKyle
Last post
 September 18th, 2017
...See more That week is coming , the week I'm going to be alone... I feel like my depressive thoughts are getting stronger. I'm really tired I don't know what more I to do. Things feel pointless, why should I try. I'm too poor to go to therapy and to well off to get the free stuff Why do I even try , I've talked to friends and tried calling the help lines and feel like trying was pointless. I just want it all to stop
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Thinking out loud
Depression Support / by HiMisterKyle
Last post
 October 1st, 2017
...See more So I seem to be thinking out loud recently, I don't know why I can't control my thoughts properly these. Does anyone know why people think out loud
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A week
Depression Support / by HiMisterKyle
Last post
 August 21st, 2017
...See more *This just something I need to tell a Close friend of mine* So I'm going to be home alone for a week I don't know how I'm going to deal with that, I know I gave you my self harming tools but when I seem to get creative and have other ways of hurting myself ,so I don't know what I might do in that week. This week has been hard ,for at least half my day's I've seriously though how best I'm going to end it but they were all thoughts cause I'm never really alone so hard to actually go through with it but that week is now coming. I don't want you to worry or anything but I all I'm asking for is just for you to regularly check up on me after work , I don't know how I'm deal with that week other wise
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Thoughts
Depression Support / by HiMisterKyle
Last post
 August 7th, 2017
...See more I feel like I have so much energy I can't use , I'm so frustrated . I punched a wall a few times , been throwing my phone everywhere, I want screaming or just run into a wall has as I can. This feeling is overwhelming me. I think I know what caused it. I went to a funeral yesterday , I saw two women who I didn't leave on the best of terms with, I just started think about how those relationship ended and I saw myself as a problem . Started thinking about why I can't maintain such relationship, the answer was not good. And I also thought how excited I'm feeling about going to the strip club because I can't deal with real women. And that really makes me sad because that was the only positive thought I had for this month and now it's moved to self hate. I can't stand myself, what's wrong with me.
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