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HopefulMishan
1 111 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2025 Member sinceMarch 24, 2025
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Mother or monster?
Relationship Stress / by HopefulMishan
Last post
 March 31st, 2025
...See more Hi everyone. I'll tell you brefly my story. My parents divorced when i was 6 and my brother 4. We grow with my mother and my father never had the chance to say something about us because my mother alwas said "i'm their mother, they live with me, i know what's better for them". Only when there where problems that she couldn't resolve, and nobody could do anything she asked my father's help. (For example my brother didn't like school so on the last year of school, he failed for absences, and my mother asked my father help only in april and the school ends on the first week of june). When i finished school i told my mother i wanted to go to work but she decided that i had to go to university, so she enroll me in the faculty she had decided for me and i went there. In the meantime she became associate in a sport center where i worked 2 days a week. Because there were a lot of courses and few people, she ask me if i wanted to add extra hours. Our agreement was "when i graduate, i'll go to work out there". Long story short, everytime i told her that i wanted to leave and she had to search for someone else, she started crying and beg me to not leave her because there were only her and another associate and she couldn't did alone. So everytime i felt like i was betraying her and my family because in the meantime my brother also started to work there. After 20 years in that situation, my brother divorced and my mother wasn't happy at all and started to use the silence tecnique with my brother. They didn't talk for 1 year. After that, at the end of the season my mother and his associate decided to held a meeting with all the instructor and they told us that they decided to close the center becaise they were old. Some days after, my mother told me " i think you're not surprised about that. We all knew that i agreed to became associated in this sport center only to leave it to your brother one day"... I was shoked! From that day we had few chat and one day i organize a meeting with her, my brother, my father and my mother's new husband to talk together and try to arrange tje situation between my mother and brother. During this year of silence she was always on the side of my brother's wife because she said that she understands how she felt so she didn't want to let her alone. In this meeting i organized at the end of february i clearly told my mother "we want you to be OUR mother, not Julia's mother. She already had 1". And i started to cry because i was very sad and i was exausted of this sitiation..her reply was the end of our relationship. She looked at me with icy eyes and told me "i think you must see a therapist!" and she went away. I didn't have any news from her since then. I know that probably i was wrong when i was 18..but damn! I was a baby and i thought that family comes first! But now, i've finisched my patience. Does anyone experienced the same or can understand my situation?
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