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Hopelessmess8809
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 27, 2021
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Stay in bad relationship for wrong reason
Relationship Stress / by Hopelessmess8809
Last post
 September 27th, 2021
...See more So I gotta know… I really don’t even know how to write.. ask.. hell, I’m not even sure what to call it! Let me start by giving a lil background. My wife and I split up abut 2 1/2 yrs ago after 10 yrs of her trying. Yeah, just her! We met through a mutual friend(we will call her Tina), that I was in the halfway house with. I was fresh it of prison after 13 yrs (just a drug problem, nothing crazy). I was at Tinas house one day and they, (my wife, we will just call her wife to keep it simple),were chatting on fb and I seen her on that tiny little square screen and was instantly attracted! I had to meet her so Tina introduced us. Long story short, she had a 6mo old baby boy and dad was MIA. Things were good in the beginning. Then, I was in an accident it work. Nothing To serious, but bad enough I was on pain pills for a year. Remember that drug problem I mentioned earlier? Yeah, 15 yrs prior, I was using meth, after the accident I learned I really liked opiates:/ I stayed so high all the time I didn’t realize how I was neglecting my family! In the end it came down to me making a choice and I chose drugs over my family:( After I made that terrible decision, it wasn’t long before I went completely over the edge, really got lost in the drugs! Wife moved on! Which is awesome, I want her and my son to be happy! I want her to find someone that can give her the emotional support she needed that I fell short on! Looking back…letting them go was the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life(I’ve done some stupid stuff)! so get to it already, Right? Despite everything, we are still friends(live really far apart). We use to talk weekly I guess. Then, about 6 mo ago, she stopped! I put the pieces together in my head. I told her, if she was seeing someone, I would respect that and quit communicating but let me know so I wasn’t worried! Turned court she moved the new guy in. He is apparently really good with my kid, which I am having my doubts because me and the kid would text daily, that stopped too. So in my head, he must be doin a good job fathering since the kid quit talking to me(kid still to this day thinks I am his dad OR at 13 he figured it out and that’s why he quit?) Anyways, I am still the person she calls when things aren’t good. I have been getting a lot of calls lately! I guess he is a pos to her! One of those guys that says,” hey, I got an idea, let’s all start going to the gym everyday to get in shape”, because he thinks she’s fat! To my point! I asked her,”WTF is wrong with you!!! He treats you like shit and you just feel like after a year of dating that you can’t tell him to kick rocks?? What’s really going on here? Then it came out, she thinks the kid, who is 13 now, really needs the father figure I. His life and he seems to be happy with him around! Ok, so let me get this strait, this dude comes into your life, treats you like shit, and you are just gonna deal with it because you think kid needs a father figure?? (Let me mention, wife is doing VERYwell for herself so DOES NOT need him around for any financial reason). Because I don’t feel like that is the right thing to do, I have scoured the net to try to find something, ANYTHING, that would be encouraging to her to realize she deserves better! While I am not a master of searching, I couldn’t find anything that said she should get out of a shitty relationship even though kid likes guy! So I guess my question is, do all women think that that is the right thing to do? Do they really think they have to suffer so the kid can have a guy around? Where are all the motivational videos telling these women that that isn’t the right choice! You know kid sees mom getting treated like shit! So because mom puts up with it ,”for kid” that means it’s ok to treat her like shit and make her feel worthless? Well, guess what, you’re keeping him around, kid is learning it’s ok to treat women like shit, or it must be because mom seems to like it! I don’t know, call me stupid, but that seems a little ridiculous to me! So what do you tell someone like that? She ain’t gonna listen to me because…well, because she knows who I use to be! I don’t know, correct me if im wrong or a lil advice I can give her??
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