HuxBeLike Member Profile

...See more I've recently undergone a breakup. lt was my fault and I did a lot of horrible things to cause it. In short, I learned that I'm abusive. I am lost on what to do now since we are starting to initiate a no-contact rule. My Ex and I dated for two and a half years. In October, a traumatizing incident occurred leading to the end of our romantic relationship. We were/are devastated. We were living together for the first time too and up until last week, we still were. We didn't really know what to do but between finishing school and attending work, we were stuck living together. It wasn't bad, and in a lot of ways, we still acted like a couple. To this day, we still love eachother and want to remain best friends. A lot of the time we spent living together, I tried to immediately get help. Whether it was researching abuse or finding a counselor, I really wanted to make sure I stopped being abusive and making the same mistakes. However, this is a long process, and even though we wish we could still be together--if we could just cut out some of the horrible things I've done in some magical way--it really could have been something special. Yet I messed up plenty of times and it wasn't until the breakup that I realized how much my behavior was affecting them. So we are still friends and still kinda act like how we did when we were together, but we both know that it's not the same. We are scared of the future, me surely more than them. We want to remain friends but don't know where our lives will end up. I am now living alone for the first time. We have decided that in order for us to heal and start living a life independent of another person, we need to stop communicating as much. It has hurt both of us to do this but we know it's for the better. We can now focus on other internal problems within ourselves and explore different aspects of life we may not have done if we stayed in that same relationship. I am both excited yet saddened. I can't wait to see what the future holds for the both of us, and neither can they. I want to still be with them though, like an actual couple again but they have told me that I should not focus or hope to get back together. I feel broken and regretful. I feel like I've lost an amazing person because of my horrible behavior. I really wanted to be with them forever. So I guess I'm stuck wondering what to do. I want to heed their advice and not be hopeful. I don't know how to do that. I still love them a lot, and they have expressed they do too, so it's hard to put that feeling down. Is it more mature to just try to let go?

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Caring and good listener

Reviewed Sep 14, 2026

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio