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Hyperion8400
652 M Embraced 5
PathStep 74 Compassion hearts24 Forum posts23 Forum upvotes35 Current upvotes35 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 7, 2019
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Just needed a rant
Depression Support / by Hyperion8400
Last post
 April 17th, 2020
...See more ?Hey :) it has been a while once again since I've been on here. Haven't felt the need but since the UK has gone into lockdown things have just been getting worse and worse, mainly because I can't see my girlfriend and our relationship is pretty fragile due to my ex hating both of us and not leaving us alone which makes it pretty difficult especially since there are a few issues between me and my girlfriend due to differences in religion but that's a matter for another time. But right now I just don't feel like I deserve anything. I have made a few mistakes recently which has made it pretty difficult but that's due to my drinking problem (got a bit excited and sad really when I found out id be leaving sixth form 3 months early and wouldn't sit exams) but I made my girlfriend feel like I didn't love her which I really really do. But now my old issues have come back and I genuinely hate myself and I can't shake it. I don't know why but I just feel like I don't deserve anything and I don't know what to do. I can't help but blame myself for everything that happens to it but I honestly believe everything is my fault much to my girlfriend's protest but I can't help it. But I find using this website best to rant really. I can't talk in person or to anyone I know. So I don't expect anyone to respond I just needed to get it out which I hope is okay But thanks anyway if you read this :)
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Been a while :)
Depression Support / by Hyperion8400
Last post
 February 21st, 2020
...See more Hey, Its been a while since I've been on here, frankly haven't felt the need to. A lot has happened in such a short time given that I was last on here in November. Went through a pretty bad break-up, meet an amazing person who I've gotten pretty close to. On the whole, I'm doing pretty good which I think is pretty good! This amazing person who I've met helped me to stop drinking alcohol anytime I got depressed (which was a lot) and I'm very grateful for life at the minute. Yet somehow, given all that, tonight specifically, I'm not doing good. I just don't feel worthy of anything in life anymore, especially this amazing person. I found myself tonight asking what is the point in everything and I just can't find an answer sadly, I've just lost all motivation in anything and everything I do and now I'm kinda lost. I cried for the first time in a couple of months and I just don't know whats triggered it. I wanted to talk to some of my friends right now, or just talk to anyone really but given that is 2.27 am no one is awake and I feel really alone right now. I now feel better slightly for writing this knowing that I've just let it out. So if you're reading this then I thank you I don't feel so alone with the thought that someone might read this. I don't know if that's weird but hey ho. I kinda just wanna have a conversation with people; not talking about anything really, just to connect to people because right now with quite a few amazing people in my life I feel unbelievably alone :(
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Motivation
Depression Support / by Hyperion8400
Last post
 October 24th, 2019
...See more How do you find the motivation to do anything anymore? I can't seem to find the motivation or effort to do anything and I just get called lazy and thrown to the side when I try my hardest to do something but I just can't find the energy to do it. But when I finally sit down and do something it all just goes wrong and I just find myslef defeated and give up.
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World crashing in on itself and I'm drowning
Depression Support / by Hyperion8400
Last post
 October 16th, 2019
...See more Within the space of an hour my entire world (everything that makes me happy and want to keep going) has gone and crashed. Now I'm stuck in the constant loop of crying, blaming myslef and wanting to give up. I can't breathe, I just don't know how to keep going when the one thing that motivated you, your reason to keep going has exploded into a thousands pieces. How do you find a new reason to keep going? How do you stop yourself from self isolation? *those we're rhetorical as I'm just looking for a place to rant and explain how I'm feeling without telling anyone. But I'm curious as to other people's thoughts and their experiences with this
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Motivation
Depression Support / by Hyperion8400
Last post
 June 20th, 2019
...See more Well it's been a while since I've been looked here because I haven't felt the need... But I have some exams coming up for my a levels, my end of year exams and I need to pass them to continue my courses but I cannot find the motivation to do work and revision for them at all. It's becoming a real problem because they are very important but I end up staring at the work or a wall for hours instead of doing the work. My thought process is "meh they'll be fine" but I know they won't.... I think one of the reasons is is due to the depression I have but in the act of not doing anything I'm becoming more depressed and worried... I don't know how to get out of the endless cycle and start to motivate myself
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I'm new and have some questions
Eating Disorder Support / by Hyperion8400
Last post
 May 5th, 2019
...See more Hi I'm new here but not to 7cups but for the past 2 or 3 years I've struggled eaten. Most days in lucky if I eat 2 meals. The problem is is that I can't find the energy to actually eat the food and if I manage to do that...i just feel sick so I'll just give up and that'll happen over the course of a month but then there'll be a week or so where I "compensate" for it, I'll eat a lot and just keep eating until I go back to not eating. I'm frequently asked if I'm anorexic and the answer to that is I don't know. So my question is does it sound like I have a problem that needs to be helped or am I just overthinking everything?
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I'm not okay
Depression Support / by Hyperion8400
Last post
 May 1st, 2019
...See more I've finally come to realise that I'm not okay. I'm struggling with depression but I can't see a professional about it or at least I don't know how to find one but it's becoming too much. I no longer have an appetite to eat because I'm just too tired to move my jaw to chew the food and if I manage to get it down I just want to be sick. I can't find the motivation or the effort to do my school work and I'm doing 3 A-levels at the minute which are hard and I need to actually do the work but anytime I try I end up just staring at a wall or the work for hours. Lately I've just been feeling numb because I'm too tired and exhausted to feel anything else....i used to want to cry all the time but now it's just nothingness (is that a good thing?) My friends see me as this emotionally stable, chill guy and I'm fine with that and some of them know that's not the case and in reality I'm struggling to keep it together...its becoming difficult to not snap at everyone and not to start punching inanimate objects. I just don't know what to do but I do know I can't keep going....ive burnt out and am now running on fumes. I would like, and I know it's a lot to ask, for someone just to tell me what to do and how to do it to help manage it like how do I cope?
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I don't know what to do anymore
Depression Support / by Hyperion8400
Last post
 October 16th
...See more I think I need help.... I no longer know what I'm doing and I don't know what I can do but I need to do something. I'm either feeling completely numb or I want to cry and continue crying until I drowned myself in tears but I can't. My bestfriend is going through a lot and I just feel powerless when I can't help (which is all the time) and she is the only person I feel comfortable talking to (usually) but lately I just feel I can't; that I can't burden her with my issues because of what she is dealing with but I really really need to talk to someone because I'm being eaten alive. So then I don't know what to do. What can I do? This is really just me venting how I feel and what I'm thinking without feeling like I'm burdening people...it kinda helps
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