Iampowerful147 Member Profile

...See more When I see certain people that remind me of a negative experience in my past my body is triggered with such a high level of psychological distress to the point that I cannot hide my shock from them and every time I go back to school I have been triggered upon seeing them. The trauma feels unbearable and every day I feel trapped in a state of fear and insecurity (flight, fight, freeze response). When I was a child I was physically abused and emotionally neglected by my mother who was brought up in a culture that viewed the physical abuse of children as normal so we both believed it was normal so I feel stupid for being traumatised over this because a lot of people were beaten up when they were younger but grew up to live a trauma-free life. Over a long period of time, I was stuck in my body’s alert response and I have experienced continuous hostile and aggressive behaviour from people which will pop up randomly as a cycle of thoughts in my head invoking my fear response as well as overwhelming feelings of trauma and shame (it is probably stronger because I am quite emotionally sensitive) to the point that I could not concentrate and I was purely fixated on surviving. This has been sabotaging my life from work ethic to relationships as well as my emotions. Moreover, People around me have told me that I am making excuses not to do work or they tell me about how they are able to cope with trauma far greater than mine. I also see many posts about extreme situations such as sexual assault and how the survivors developed complex PTSD as a result which makes me believe that my experiences cannot qualify as symptoms of complex PTSD however, I would like to know other people's opinions who are a part of the community before I make my final decision.

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