Imissbeingme Member Profile

...See more Hi, everyone! I hope I understood this right and this is a place where I can leave my story. May be it will help someone to feel less alone. My mum died when I was 11 so I was raised by my father who is an alcoholic. When he starts to drink he stops only when he drops. For a long time he wasn't too aggressive while drunk, but two years ago when me and my sister came home from our friends house he was completely drunk out of his mind. Of course he wanted to talk to us, so we sat in the kitchen and he slurred his speech about us being a family and needing to talk to each other, he told us stories from his past, which we got to listen every time he got drunk. After more than hour I asked him if I can go to sleep and he flipped out cause he felt like I was disrespecting him by asking it . so he hit me in the face with his fist and started to yell at me. I went to my room to get dressed cause I got scared and I wanted to go to my friends house to spend the night so he won't hit me again. I didn't even have time to wear my shoes nor pants, I was wearing only pyjama shorts and sweater, he came in our room and came right at me and tried to hit me in a face again, my sister was hiding at a time, then I told him that I want him to stop hitting, he got even more angry, went to a chimney and took a piece of wood, I ran from him, he got me and hit me with that piece of wood, my sister was crying as she slammed his back with a guitar. We ran out of house, he followed. It was winter, I had only socks on my feet, my sister had pants, t shirt and slippers. I ran and didn't look back, my sister stayed and I feel so guilty because I ran even though I saw her staying. He yelled something about hitting us to the death. When I was pretty far from our house I heard my sister scream my name do I ran back. Luckily she was fine, he didn't get her, but at some point she broke a window with her arm and cut it on the glass. We ran together and I remember how cold I was. I never want to be that cold again. My feet felt like rocks or something, I could feel cold air going through my lungs. It was awful. I will never forgive him and myself. I don't know what to do now and I don't know why I haven't gotten over it. I know its nothing serious, but it hurts still after two years.

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