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IndigoPond38
3,964 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts114 Forum posts25 Forum upvotes34 Current upvotes34 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceMay 27, 2019
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Potential Partner Has Herpes
Relationship Stress / by IndigoPond38
Last post
 May 10th, 2022
...See more A close cousin of mine introduced me to a friend of his online about a year ago because he said we have a lot in common, and thought we'd make good friends. And it was true! We share so many common interests, and we like each other a lot. He broke up with his girlfriend about 2 months ago because they had been drifting apart for a long time. I recently booked a flight to go see him in December (I currently live in North America, and he currently lives in Colombia, South America). We've been close since we first met, but we've grown really close in the last month, and we know our feelings are more than just as friends. But he told me a week and a half ago that he has genital herpes (yes, his ex knows). He's known since earlier this year, but didn't tell me before now because until recently an intimate relationship wasn't being considered (especially since he was still with another woman). He didn't know how to tell me, because he said he felt ashamed about it. Then he told me I should forget about him and find someone more suitable, someone capable of giving themselves fully to me physically as well as emotionally because I don't have genital herpes. I was in shock when he told me. I didn't know much about it until now, except that once you get it you're stuck with it forever. And it's easy to pass along to others depending on circumstances. I've read lots of articles, and watched lots of videos about it. However... I care about him deeply. He's my best friend, and someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with once we're able to tackle the obvious geographical complications. I sent him some articles I found about how to have a healthy relationship with a partner who has herpes. He's worried about even kissing me, and justifiably so. We've both agreed to speak with our doctors about the matter, and we both have appointments coming up in a week or two. Until then... is there anyone else who's shared a similar experience? This is all new to me, and I don't know how to respond. I'm here for him, as a friend and more if possible... but I just need to know, what are the pros and cons of this virus? I'm trying to be supportive for him, but I need more information. Thanks!
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