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JHB0912
858 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts57 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2019 Member sinceJuly 30, 2019
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I need to get this off my chest
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by JHB0912
Last post
 August 13th, 2019
...See more I dont know if this is going to help, but i just feel like i need to get this out of my system. I struggle with being honest to people about how i truly feel inside. So here we go: I am pretty sick and tired of my own behaviour when it comes to alcohol. I dont know why, but i just cant seem to control myself when im going to out to a party or to a club. Although all my friends get drunk, i get the drunkest. Black outs are pretty common for me, and a lot of other stuff has happend while i was drunk (witch i feel really ashamed about) This has been going on since i started drinking, but in the beginning i didnt really see it as a problem. Dont get me wrong, i dont really drink during workdays and i dont feel dependent on alcohol. It is just when i start that im having a hard time stopping. I dont seem to have a break programmed in my brain. After the weekends, i worry a lot about this. I really worry about what people think of me (i tend to worry a lot). I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel like i should stop drinking all together, but on the other hand would that feel like losing the battle against alcohol. I would like nothing more than being able to drink like 5 or 6 beers and then stop. I dont now if i want to give up yet, i feel like i should give myself 1 last chance to prove to myself and others that i can drink moderately. I just dont know how yet. I dont really know why i share this, but i guess Some people may recognize themselves in this an maybe have Some tips for me. Thanks.
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