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JupiterRising
2 112 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceDecember 14, 2015
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Is there any way around an interview? I can not for the life of me and am now in a huge crisis situation.
Work & Career / by JupiterRising
Last post
 August 11th, 2025
...See more Hello, all. As the title suggests, I can't interview. And no amount of practice seems to help this. I have two master's degrees both achieved through nearly impossible circumstance with 4.0 GPAs. I'm incredibly artistically talented and can write well. I have a lot of empathy and emotional intelligence and I would say my critical thinking skills are above average. People who meet me tend to talk about how smart I am. This, however, does not show up in interviews. I lose my words, look incredibly stupid, and I am not. What is proving difficult in my situation with no money and no support system and living in the US, a country with an awful healthcare system, is that I am trying to seek help for its root cause, which I suspect is CPTSD or autism. I have reached a huge crisis situation because of this. A little background, in short: I was born through an absent prisoner and a depressed pharmaceutical addict. As a very young child, I knew I didn't want that life (didn't know such cycles are so hard to break). I was such a dreamer. Never did drugs. Very health motivated. Won't even touch pills due to all I've witnessed with my mother. I became a first generation student, completely alone. Sometimes I regret doing this, but I believed it was the way. Then I often wish I had gone into something more practical and widely available, like sonography, but I had absolutely no guidance. With no model or anyone to show what's available and to guide you, you really just kind of wing it and guess your way through and, as you meet more educated people, you realize the wrong turns you made in hindsight. Anyway, I had originally wanted to be an art professor. A career counselor told me if I have any interest in writing and English, that would probably be a better way to go because the "arts struggle in a bad economy." Much younger and desperate to break cycles, I unfortunately look his advice, not even realizing that a mere "interest in writing" wasn't all it entailed. I got accepted in a master's program out of state and, against nearly impossible odds, managed to moved myself there. My peers were far more prepared than me. I was the only person there from a background like mine and they'd name drop authors and were far more well-read, well-traveled, well-cared for and on and on. Despite housing insecurity, dealing with the sudden death of my brother, wondering how the next bill was going to be paid, and dealing with a plethora of other things including my mother, who had been estranged for a long time and is very impoverished, beginning to decline, I still managed to graduate with a 4.0. No family, no support, nothing. I also had to get an accommodation for my thesis defense where they sent me the questions ahead of time because of said inability to interview. I did my second master's online, feeling like maybe if I got another credential, it would help buy me time to get more needed publications. But being in constant survival mode kind of takes away from the ability to be creative or write. You need that financial, mental and emotional space. My younger brother, who hadn't talked to my mother in years before my older brother died, came around and, because she wasn't incredibly mobile, was paying her rent. I was feeling guilty about being out of state while she seemed to be declining. I gave up my very cute apartment that the landlord had given me a chance on -- did not check credit (even though mine was good at the time), did not mind that I was doing gig work to supplement student loans (which hit disadvantage students the hardest) with gig work, and didn't charge me extra for my two little dogs. And somehow I never let him down. I went and tried to help my mother and quickly realized a sunk person can not hold up a sunk person. It led to a domino effect of bad luck where I lost a lot and my credit took a dive. So my credit is now shot. I visited friends and lived in and out of hotels and in my car. Eventually, I returned to the other state I had gone to school in because my friend was leaving for the year out of state and would allow me to stay in her place to hopefully get back on my feet. I graduated with my second master's degree in her home while doing gig work and applying everywhere with my ultimately unimpressive resume. And, again, outside of the unimpressive resume, I go mute or stutter or lose words during interviews. I have even put my resume in all the local temp agencies to see if I can get around the interview thing and nothing. And then the summer slow down with gig work came. And then my savings ran dry. And then I had to put a "non-use" statement on my vehicle and cancel my insurance because I could no longer afford the expensive insurance. And my dogs seem to be declining and need vet care (I've managed to take excellent care of them for the eight years I've had them and have hit such a bad wall). And now my mother is dying out of state and I want to be there but can't even reinstate my insurance and this state is full of cameras that scan your plates. Plus, I'd want a cushion to get started anyway. Moreover, I'm falling in love for the first time in ten years with someone who lives in said state I'd like to get to. And I'm so afraid the distance and my circumstances will ultimately ruin it. But yes. It's a crisis now because as hard as I try I am now completely stranded and want to go be where I know a few faces. I would prefer remote because I'm the sole caretaker of my dogs who need to go potty during the day and so I don't have to leave them just any ol' where, and because one of them has health issues, but I'm willing to try anything. I can catch on to anything. I'm very educated. Very health driven. I have a lot to offer, I think. I just can't interview. And now time is really of the essence because I'm in a bad, bad position. But, hey, I clearly have a strong "why." Is there any way around an interview? And what can I do really quick to get out of this crisis situation so I can go be in proximity to my dying mother?
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