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KJ2005
2,834 M Hopeful Heart 6
PathStep 28 Compassion hearts68 Forum posts15 Forum upvotes27 Current upvotes27 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceDecember 16, 2019
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I don't know what to do ( TW )
7 Cups Online Therapy / by KJ2005
Last post
 May 21st, 2021
...See more This may just be me rambling but oh well here we go I feel .. stuck, trapped, being forced to be things I don't feel like I can be. My parents claim i'm smart, yet I can't understand naything teachers say ( nor do most help me, they don't even try to help, math teacher more than others ) My mother lies to me, even to make me feel a little better ( I'm not over my ex and she said he told her he was still into me, however he's already moved on, I don't want to ruin things so we stay friends, its okay for the moment ) I've not been able to talk to my therapist, nor does she help much ( Tells me things I already know, " use art as your coping mech, " she says, but I already do, she just acts like shes saying the same thing over and over and over again. ) I identify as Demigirl yet my parents tell me its because of my firends and shows I watch ( My oher two " healthy " coping mechs, I use tv to escape reality for a while. ) My mother just wants me to be with her and uses a mental hospital as a threat when I cut myself when I relapse due to intense stress and not having any other option. I feel like I have to grow up in order to get away, but no ones ever taught me how to act like a reasonable adult Can I have some coping mechs? Ideas I mean Sorry for venting to you all, hope you have a great day tho! <3
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Did I do something wrong?
Relationship Stress / by KJ2005
Last post
 April 19th, 2021
...See more My Ex broke up with me a while ago, and I think hes the first guy I ever really, REALLY liked, and I can't get over him! I tried to be there whenevrr he was there for me, he made me feel safe and welcome, but he told me he wasnt ready to commit to a relationship. I know it seems petty, but I'm just upset over it, I feel like it was somehow my fault, I did something wrong .. I'm gonna be at a party where he's at, should I bring it up with him? We're still friends and talk normally, all of my firends just say to ask him but I'm scared, terrified, really, I just want to be with him again, is that so bad? What should I do ..?
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I think I have trauma ..? ( TW, I wont say in detail but things will be referenced that could trigger people, proceed with caution )
Trauma Support / by KJ2005
Last post
 November 15th, 2020
...See more From a young age when my parents divorced due to .. lets call him steve, my birth dad's " drinking issue ". On top of being harassed form a young age due to my friends and my appearence, I've always hated hugs or phycal contact that I dont start first with, I feel bad because of it but I don't know why I get so uncomfterable and nervous. It also worsened with my ex - girlfriend, lets call her .. Mal, Mal was sweet at first, but she got possessive and rather ... ' foward ' to my closeted asexual self, she harassed my friend for having a straight relationship so I cut ties wiht her, she often talked down to me after that claiming good luck wiht my grades ( She helped me with my studies, ) and after a while she just stopped talking to me at all. That made me very upset for a while and I now retrest a but whenever I got hugged ( my sister does not help by hugging me non stop, I love her to bits but - ) I had another ex girlfriend .. lets call her Val, she was sweet as well, but she was not ready to be in a relationship at the time, she would never talk to me and would bug me at 1am on a school night because she wanted to rant about her mom rather than taking care of herself, it was on and off for a while and now, even if we're friends, she won't talk much to me anymore. I'm always wondering if this could be tied with my trust issues, but I don't have a therapst to talk to, but I seriously would like to understand why I hate phycal contact like that so much, if I start it I'm fine, but if anyone goes to hug me I just get really, really uncomfterable, what do you all think? Am I overreacting?
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