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Kacz
754 M Little Steps
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2020 Member sinceMay 14, 2020
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How do you deal with a husband that refuses to communicate healthy
Relationship Stress / by Kacz
Last post
 July 15th, 2020
...See more My husband is not used to having talks or talking/dealing with emotions when it comes to someone he hurt. Neither one of us was raised in a family that actually took the time to sit down and talk about things, but I've learned the importance of it and find that it's the healthiest way to deal with things. My husband tends to snap and lash out instead of just calmly communicating and can be verbally abusive. Obviously this leads to hurt. His solution is to give it time and then act like nothing happened. This is not ok for me, this is toxic. When I try to talk about it he puts up a fuss, tells me about how wrong i am, raises his voice, and explains his point of view without really dealing with how i feel or giving me the acknowledgment that i need. This has gone on for years and at this point I'm worn down and tired of it but I don't know how to get us both on the same page. I've decided to take a stance for communicating together and as a team as opposed to tearing each other down when it gets hard and I'm standing on it but there's always a possibility that he will play the same card he's always played and tell me that he's tired of talking about things, tired of things becoming an issue, and make a big fuss about it. We have been to two couples therapists that have given suggestions on how to communicate that he just ignores. I don't know what else to do....
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This never ending cycle
Relationship Stress / by Kacz
Last post
 May 24th, 2020
...See more I'm overwhelmed being in a relationship with a man who has flaws just like I do, emotions just like I do, hurt just like I do but fights with me every time I say that I'm hurt. I can't express how I feel with out being interrupted, cut off, and told I'm wrong. I just want to be able to finish a sentence. You want to be understood. But neither one of us is hearing each other because we're too busy talking at each other..... emotions erupt and then next thing you know we're angry, yelling, and then apart. And we go through this never ending cycle. How I feel is too much for you... but I'm your wife.... dealing with my emotions is too much.... why did we even get married.... it's ok for you to tell me when you're hurt and I accept it, but why can't I get the same in return? It's ok for you to walk off when you're mad but when I do I get called out of my name. Why is this ok? When I'm hurt, it's too much for you..... when I do finally voice myself, you don't want to hear it... we've grown together and gotten better but I'm afraid that we'll never get over this hurdle or through this cycle....
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