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KashaUK2000
60 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts4 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2018 Member sinceNovember 1, 2015
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How do I prove to a therapist that I need help?
Anxiety Support / by KashaUK2000
Last post
 January 6th, 2016
...See more I'm Autistic, I experience anxiety and low-mood - in general I'm well adjusted and have no serious mental health issues, but being Autistic I have no friends for support and my anxiety is becoming a problem. I struggle to identify moods so it makes managing this difficult, thus I'm trying to access therapy via NHS. I think as I'm Autistic and they don't have anyone with autism training, also because I'm pretty well adjusted, they keep booting me out of the mental health care system. I'm finding it annoying because in the past they've failed me too - as well as struggling with severe autism throughout my life, in my teens I was victim of sexual and physical abuse as well as self-harmed, in my twenties I had a mental health episode, I always seem to fall through the gaps in mental health care and left to cope on my own...I shouldn't have to. They keep asking me to come in for initial evaluations, I think I've had about five of these now and more often than not they've been useless - the last appointment however was wonderful, I made a connection and felt comfortable with the therapist I saw (as an Autistic person making connections with someone is a one in a million thing so this was a big deal). My next appointment is with another therapist I've seen before, last time I saw him I was kicked out of the mental health system - he felt as I wasn't keen on CBT that they couldn't help me. I kind of feel like I have to 'prove' myself as suffering anxiety and low moods to get the help I need, but then obviously I don't want to fake mental illness - so how do I 'prove' to them that I'm worthy of help?
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Lost friends after a break-up
Relationship Stress / by KashaUK2000
Last post
 November 1st, 2015
...See more I was with my ex boyfriend for 5 years. I broke up with him around 3 years ago. The relationship wasn't bad but we were stuck in a rut - I'm unemployed so we struggled socially and couldn't do much socially, I'd try to get out even if just to go for a walk and he'd just complain constantly. We couldn't move in together so the relationship was going nowhere, it was the same routine every day, and he didn't seem to put any effort into trying to find a way to change that rut. He also has ADHD but refuses to acknowledge this, his behaviour caused my anxiety so severe I ended-up having to take anti-depressants just to be with him. He wouldn't talk about our problems, in fact he spent more time talking to a [female] co-worker about her relationship problems then he'd talk to me sometimes. I decided it had to end. But this isn't just about him... I'm Autistic, prior to losing my job you'd not have known I was Autistic and as an extrovert I've always been social - after losing my job I reverted severely, I can barely even socialize online let alone try to make friends in the real world, and when I got to see my friends it was really difficult to even talk to them. At the time my ex and I broke up my friendships were slipping, as my ex was working with many of my old friends it meant when we broke up naturally my old friends would invite him to parties but not me, they essentially took his side and I lost my friends as a result (two of them actively rejected me, taking me off Facebook and blanking me on the street). This means that I've no friends at all right now and I've no way of making new friends, although I've a new boyfriend it's long-distance so I'm basically alone 24/7 with very little social interaction. My ex and I are still friends and so he's on my Facebook friends list, I don't follow him but sometimes I see photos he posts - he's now very social, he regularly goes to parties etc. and it's painful to see him being so social now because 1. I've lost my friends, 2. a lot of my old friends are now good friends with my ex and his new girlfriend, and 3. he was never this social when he was with me. I also see him going to parties with his new girlfriend, dressing-up in fancy dress with his new girlfriend, going on holidays with his new girlfriend, and posing for couple photos with his new girlfriend...he did none of this with me, he clearly likes her more. Okay...so sometimes I go look at his Facebook profile and make myself depressed. My being Autistic didn't stop me going to parties, dressing up, posing for couples photos...or at least it didn't until it became more severe again, maybe if we had been more social as a couple I'd not have reverted so badly. It just seems to me like I was worth so little to him, he made no effort to do anything social or couples activities with me, now he's left me behind a hermit while he's off partying. It hurts like hell to see him hanging out with my friends and doing couples things with his new girlfriend, seeing his new girlfriend with my friends too - it's like I've been rejected by my ex boyfriend and all my friends, like they've all forgotten what I was like before I lost my job and my autism worsened so now I look like the anti-social boring one. I'm bitter that we had to break up and that he has 'won' the break-up - he has all my friends, goes to all these fun parties, is now very social with lots more friends, and has a girlfriend he evidently cares about more than he did about me - in the mean time I'm hurt by the whole situation, lonely, and feel like a loser.
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