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Krovavy
5 89 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2025 Member sinceJune 3, 2025
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Tired from long term depression
Depression Support / by Krovavy
Last post
 July 5th, 2025
...See more I've been majorly depressed for the better part of 3 years now. Most that time it's been what they call "high functioning* where I get everything done I need to (a little late most timesbut it gets done) and no one really even notices that anything wrong. I start a new job soon that should help alot, but it's a month and a half away. I don't do well with being alone long periods of time and both my roommates are out of town for the next month. My depression is at fever pitch, most days I can barely get out of bed and end up back in it at least twice. I don't bathe. I eat once a day. I barely sleep. I miss about 60% of social events I try to go to, which even if I made them all would be less than I probably need (I'm very social.) Add to that I'm not making any pay for likely 60 more days, so things like going to a Cafe daily aren't super feasible either. I dunno how I'm gonna survive this next month, mentally. I feel like I'm on the cusp of great things but that makes the interim even worse. I'm also terrible at getting support. I have, objectively, a great community, but everytime I try to reach out I choke and conceal how bad things are. And when I do get support I tend to clam up: I know people mean well but things like "sorry you feel this way" etc just trigger my shame for opening up in the first place and I have to actively fight a weird anger that results, and i end up negative self-talking myself into negating any good that was achieved by reaching out. I don't know what to do anymore
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