I've never really known what to write here. Talk about myself? I'm 32 and my life has been wasted. I've been trapped in survival mode for as long as I can remember. My default state is just sad. I can feel other things, but I am never not sad. I'm a mom. I'm an animal lover. Music lover. Art lover. Book lover. Movie lover. Gamer. I have complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, Autism, and ADHD. I have chronic pain. I have so much trauma, I feel crushed by it. I feel completely alone. I've always felt completely alone. I've worked so hard to heal from my past, but new traumas just keep piling onto the old. I feel helpless and the little spark of hope that has always helped me keep moving forward is starting to flicker and fade. I'm lost and I don't even know if I still want to be found.