Glad I let you go.


Replay/Encore
Now, if you could go up on stage again
What song would you sing?
Now, you just depend on the role you left
You perform your future

Now, if you could be reborn into this world...
What kind of dance would you dance?
You only direct the role you left.
You are performing your next life...

Hey, the bottom of your fragile heart
that had been carrying inferiority complex...
I will hug you gently
Now you can do it!

Do not reject your name
Shout your name now
Do not reject your name
I'll call you until the end

Do not reject your name...
Shout your name now...
Do not reject your name, I've
been calling you this for a long time, correct?

Reborn and again take the stage
and perform an entertaining encore
You can not survive what awaits you
because this time, the main role is ours

Reborn again and take the stage
You want to perform, you will do it
Now you can let go of that white dust


Well, I wonder if you'll perform one more time
Now we will play something strange
scrambled memories intermingled
You closed the curtains for that miserable ending, correct?

If you could climb on the stage again
What love would you sing...
Now, in that story that has just begun
Do you want to reflect on our lives?

Do not reject your name..
Shout your name now
Do not reject your name
I'll call you until the end

Your name, name, name, name, name?!
Your name, name your name
Shout your name now
I've been calling you this for a long time, correct?

...I strangled you...
...I became one with you...
...I kiled you...
...I loved you...

Reborn and again take the stage
Perform a banquet of fireworks
We all connect to the world line
because this time, the main role is ours

Reborn and again take the stage
You want to laugh, you want to laugh
Even though your body will change

Reborn and again take the stage
and perform the best encore
The script destroys what is to come
because this time I want to live with you

Reborn and again take the stage
Now I can smile sincerely
I want to be forever by your side
Really, I love you so much...

❤❤


Osomatsu niisan...?


I can't do this anymore...
They all leave in the end...
They dont love me...
trash like me doesnt deserve anybodys love and attention anyway ..
im worthless
forgetable
unlovable
pathetic
weak
who cares
it hurts so bad when they leave..
its my worst fear..
please love me back..
but it never works that way
so cut me off
let me live my worst nightmares
so i can collapse
so i can live that hell again..

I'm sorry.. for loving you..


//Tool//
They tell me I was build to last
so use me up and use me whole
spent me, waste me, break me, ruin me
and when you leave me
tell me I was build to last

─── .∘°• . •°∘. ───
─── •. ❤ .• ───
─── • ───



It’s unfortunate, but you were born useless

And however you struggle

Nothing is left for you

But a future of abject misery.

Far better to dry your tears

And gracefully accept defeat

If you do, then we can be happy...
* * *

I haven’t been able to smile

I wonder when that began

The memories that kept on building and building

Are making me dizzy...

Both my eyes become wet, so very wet

I’ll part with that which ended...

...

It’s unfortunate, but you were born useless

And however you struggle

You have no choice

But a future of abject misery.

Far better to dry your tears

And then, will you journey forth without hesitation?

Or be born over again?

If you do, then we can be happy

You’ve done nothing wrong

(Probably...)


* * *

An injured heart, and a broken dream.

I tried to bring back the precious feeling I once had,

but it’s fallen completely apart, blotched and ugly,

stained with filth, unprotected, inside...

I waited and waited, but in the end, when I gotten cold,

it was a little too late. I couldn’t make it…

* * *






_____Packet Hero____


That lingering warmth had me in a trance,
Each touch feeling like a bite!
No one believes in a pointless future
I want to feel it poignantly until the day I die

It's strange,
I wanna experience that fear of you.
These feeling explode inside me, come and cover me with all your love!

This "treasure" of mine is so trivial,
But I don't want to give up on it.
I can feel the beat of my heart in this futon.
Did I waste today as well?

After all we don't change, we keep on repeating the same superficial mannerisms each day.
Messing up as if by instinct
A pointless future no one can return to

I want to feel it so deeply I cry, and yet...
You're just so cute,
I love your weakness.
"The sooner the better..." I love how quickly you give up!

I can't hear the sound of your fading breath.
I don't know what you wanna do,
And every time I try to remember it just makes me tired.
Don't let go of my hand, kay?

Slicing through that one bit of proof I'd held on to,
Aiming for the reward, did I simply just try and wrench it open?
Life's so boring nowadays, try not to look at it all too closely
I just finally noticed
These gaping wounds of mine!

Just following along with all those tutorial videos, spewing out poorly though-out words,
...So, let's kick off the second half. I pick up that old worn sail and stitch it back together.

It can't be, it can't be. I'm on that dried up, irregular course yet again.
I just can't treat these open wounds...

I don't understand who you really are!
Hitting me emotionally, right where it hurts
This dizziness won't last too long.

I want to soak in it till I'm broken.
It's what makes me happy.
It's pure happiness, even if I'm hated.
I love it when you avert your eyes and say "I love you..."
...Hey
What are we going to do?
...Maybe we should do "it"!

If all that viscously flowing innocence of yours
Ever fully empties out,
I'll secretly force my way into your heart!

S-s-s-s-s-so, ready for your love.

A dumpster full of teary eyes and reasons to better myself,
I don't want to hear any of that.
It hurts, it hurts, I just want to cry.
I'm in ecstasy from your sweet voice, that smell of yours...

Simply enraptured... ready for your love...

My one and only secret is exposed,
Will this wounded love of mine ever come to bear any fruit?
Life's so boring nowadays, try not to look at it all too closely
I just finally realized
How deeply you've cut my heart!

Everyone who chases after this thing called "love", is intoxicated by this stinging pain.
Still people call out to anyone and everyone, searching for some kind of connection.

I've become hollow after giving up on that dream of mine,
Though I guess I've grown up in the process.

How long do I want to keep crying...?

"You don't understand anything!"

───── .∘°•❤•°∘. ─────




______Dissilusioned_______



Consealing

Watching

Connected

Mine?

[Modest]

Notice me

Notice me...


Stress builds up because you don't notice me. It's kind of painful...
Everytime it hurts I shouldn't think "I'm no good."
[You're over exaggerating the pain...!]

Temporary fixes won't solve anything.
They won't stop these throbbing impulses,
I ignore those chains from hell draging me down,
so I can avoid thinking about future...

Love at first sight...
Coming together...
Smitten, Lovestruck...
I'm sorry...
for being so weak...
up until now...
truly...

Soon, It'll be too painful to see you,
I'll gently remember all that we've done together...

It is only now that those tender memories
are starting to wring my neck so painfully...

What goes up must come down, unfinished promise.
[Hold on. That’d be too frightening…!]

Thinking about spending time tommorow with you, laughing with you...
I'm unable to tell you the truth
so that the true end may be delayed...

How long, do I have to progress so painfully slow...?
How long, do I have to act the part until this "love" comes true...?

Temporary fixes won't solve anything...
I trust in the rules of love,
thought my nerves pretentiously get in the way...

I want to place my mouth against yours...

Until our heads are numb and throbbing,
minds growing feverish, as if intoxicated,
[I want to become one with you!]
And as I make my way back home,
I was so glad that I felt your kindness!

How happy I was...
[at your tenderness...]


We did it together.
We fooled around.

But now those memories

must be repressed

The memories we've made have stopped
Why
was I born?

That's because...
...
[?]
...


───── .∘°•❤•°∘. ─────






























________Scrumize_______


There’s a ton of things I wanna say,
but I seal them in my heart...

I’m drowning in this stuff gushing out
of my empty shell.


The definitely unfulfilled wishes of mine,
murdered "hello"s.

My self-hatred grows ever larger.

I've been beat,
lost,
but I kick those feelings aside.

“Be grateful for this pleasant taste we’re giving you.”

My heart's got an idea, but I'm not entirely sure.
Having always been observing me, you.

I've always borrowed useless words.
Many thanks.

Break, destroy this crude heart of mine..!

I want find and expose someone’s deepest secrets.
[Come on, let's carve out this scorching, painful, most tragic reality onto your own skin.]

And it's resolved, without a moments hesitation. In terms of degradation.
Such sweet oblivion.
[Rotting and shrinking away.]

I just can't smile.
Cut up any sense of reason.
Put those heavy aspirations into knapsack.
A bag stuffed full of onerous hopes.

Stop it, stop it, stop it...

Don't look at me "there"...
So valnerable, small, weak, naked..

We had this cut and paste kind of mutual relation.
Hit, broken, destroyed it was...
So much for affection: all you’d end up with is bruises and wounds.

At least, at least, at the very least,
I want you to let me apologize for sharing all those harsh dreams, those horrid fantasies I've told you about!

There’s a ton of things I want to ask you,
but I’m gonna keep it in inside.
They're drilling open a hole in my heart.
Somehow opening it up...

Something’s seriously wrong here...

I'll cut away those half-baked aspirations and abandon them,
like the mud they are...

Just cut it out, and throw it away.
It’s all covered in dirt anyway, isn’t it?

My heart is grateful for this punishing love.
That's right, that's the fun part about being in love...

[You should feel grateful for this punishment, for it comes from love.]

All those forced invitations...
Think you’re some hero of justice? Cut out that crap.

You're just pretending that you know, stuck in your delusions. Lending you an ear was pointless.

You shoot down peoples emotions, listening to all their screams.
[A most splendid performance.]

They don't matter, they just don't matter!

These scorched senses of justice, those charitable lukewarm and tepid hand-outs.

And so... that becomes this...
because of that...?

Before I realized it, my words were cut,
Such a pleasant, happy recoil from the shock of them being cut.
Stop it... Stop it... Stop it...

Don't make me touch you "there"...
...


───── .∘°•❤•°∘. ─────









_______Darling______
Fundamentally painful abnormal behavior
Holding back an amount of delusion that won’t wither
An instinctively deep destructive impulse
A definite granularity is illuminated...

Now,
Beat it into your brain cells
That there are “so many things you don’t understand”

Cunning, cruel
Don’t laugh.


You’re always, always
Just deceiving me..!

I don’t need it,
Don’t try to sweet-talk me...

An unspoken, unfading imagining
“Compulsive love mutilation!”

A magical, dreamlike,
Fantastical story
Is infecting the world! Running unpleasantly rampant!
Wait, have you never heard of such a thing, darling?

Better love, an erroneous plot twist
But isn’t that just boring…?
Cut it out
Rip it out
“A love punch to the face!”

Fundamentally unpleasant abnormal behavior
Holding back a maddening amount of information..

Now, pour it into your living cells that there are “so many things you can’t endure”

A cold connection
Don’t play games with me.
You’re always, always just insinuating things..!

A clumsy question. Don’t screw with me.

My resistance has ended

Knowing regret, the desired victory...

───── .∘°•❤•°∘. ─────









______Uminaoshi_____


In believing wholeheartedly in lies I saw through
What I realized, what I realized...
Is that it’s too late to stand still

In ignoring my blackened heart
What I understood, what I understood
Is that it’s too late to regain my footing

With misery being sneered at by diligence
What I understand is the failure of denial
And love that has become an empty shell


When I learned that there was nothing useful in me
The role that was left to me was to be reborn as a slave
That alone is my life

Bring this cycle of death and rebirth to an end
Come, destroy this world
And this heart
And this body
And the boundless peace that has existed until now

It’s unfortunate, but you were born useless
And however you struggle
Nothing is left for you
But a future of abject misery.
Far better to dry your tears
And gracefully accept defeat
If you do, then we can be happy

In indulging in lies I saw through
What I realized, what I realized
Was that the end of the dream was near

In bluntly saying blackened words
What I understood, what I understood
Was that the blame for the sin was near

In being born in such a clumsy form
And being pursued by a nausea directed towards myself
What I understand is the failure of denial
And dysfunctional love

I’ve found out that a naive boy behaving like a man
Is absolutely worthless
I’ll offer, for you whom I haven’t yet met,
To grant your prayer not to be born

Bring this cycle of death and rebirth to an end
Come, destroy this world
And this heart
And this body
And the boundless peace that has existed until now

Escape from all of creation
Evade these complicated feelings
And the countless illnesses carved into
These hands
These eyes

It repeats over and over
Talking to myself, dangerous thoughts
The true nature of a love that’s been almost fully consumed
Saying “Look at the present moment,” I cut off the absoluteness of harsh words and this malformed defeat
Wholeheartedly believing “one life is all you get” is the birth of pure delusion!
So saying
I reproduce as a slave; that alone is my life

The strangely pleasant feeling of parting of your own accord with the peace that is connected and then cut off
Frankly saying gloomy words as the next victim appears in a secret room
In the moment that I’m able to appreciate this kind of feeling, I wonder if I’ll understand the world
In the moment that I’m able to appreciate this kind of pain, I wonder if I’ll understand what comes after

I haven’t been able to smile
I wonder when that began
The memories that kept on building and building
Are making me dizzy!
Both my eyes become wet, become wet
I’ll part with that which ended

It’s unfortunate, but you were born useless
And however you struggle
You have no choice
But a future of abject misery.
Far better to dry your tears
And then, will you journey forth without hesitation?
Or be born over again?
If you do, then we can be happy
You’ve done nothing wrong
(Probably...)



───── .∘°•❤•°∘. ─────




____Coin Locker Baby___

Bundling up this virtually nonexistent secret between us,
and into the locker it goes.
Bundling up the fruit of our love, too,
and into the locker it goes.

Thus I tried to refill my heart with a delusional happiness,
by locking it up.
(I have so much work to do, I’m really busy).
Any unwanted burden? O-o-o-o-off it goes.

Bundling up all the sensations at the very tips of my fingers,
and into the locker they go.
Bundling up all the emotions scraped out from my throat,
and into the locker they go.

You’re too needy, I don’t have any need for you.
So what? What’s wrong with that, huh?
(Let’s rid ourselves of this troublesome secret.)
So irresponsible, what you said…!

Well then, goodbye, goodbye, my coin locker baby.
Come, vent your deep-seated grudge.
One after another, the seeds rushed into the mix,
quiveringly, trying to raise their budding heads.

But I’m sorry, I’m sorry, my coin locker baby.
Come, burn to a crisp your karmic cycle of life.
Escaping from all pains, you fled into the world of dreams,
laughing from that place removed from reality…

Bundling up all the sensations from the nerves on my back,
and into the locker they go.
Bundling up all the emotions spat out from the phone,
and into the locker they go.

I’m taking a step back to get a good look
at this virtually nonexistent secret between us.
Bundling up the tangled evidence of our love,
and into the locker it goes again.

Humans can’t help growing old, like oil can’t help growing cold?
So what? What’s wrong with that, huh?
(We’ve rid ourselves of that troublesome secret.)
Come on, just tell me you love me already…!

An injured heart, and a broken dream.
I tried to bring back the precious feeling I once had,
but it’s fallen completely apart, blotched and ugly,
stained with filth, unprotected, inside.
I waited and waited, but in the end, when I got cold feet,
it was a little too late. I couldn’t make it…

(Goodbye, goodbye, my coin locker baby.
Come, vent your deep-seated grudge.)
(One after another, the seeds rushed into the mix,
quiveringly, trying to raise their budding heads.)

Well then, goodbye, goodbye, my coin locker baby.
Come, vent your deep-seated grudge.
One after another, the seeds rushed into the mix,
quiveringly, trying to raise their budding heads.

But I’m sorry, I’m sorry, my coin locker baby.
Come, burn to a crisp your karmic cycle of life.
Escaping from all pains, you fled into the world of dreams.
As you dozed off with a smile still on your lips,
your body’s gone cold…?!


─── .∘°• . •°∘. ───
─── •. ❤ .• ───
─── • ───



A lil' rascal, ain't ya, huh, huh?~

// Choro/ Castiel/ Rush/ Kye/ Devi/ Oso - Choose a fucking name \\
// Trans boi ~ FtM with 9 inch weapon in pants \\
// Pack lube dude, yall need it with me \\
//Chaotic Neutral || INFP-T \\

/BPD\ADHD\PTSD\DPD\Hypersexual\OCD\Autism\Abandonment Issues\Trust Issues\Bipolar Traits\
* * *
I'm just that nasty, greasy kind of garbage that gets stuck on your shoe and never lets go. Hi. Choro here.

I was through lot of crap, past abuse and sexual abuse as kid and teen, I was diagnostied with Borderline personality disorder, Bipolar traits, autism, hypersexuality disorder, PTSD, OCD, DPD and other crap...

I am addicted to masturbation as a coping mechanism. I do myself everytime when i feel anxiety or feel fear/stress which is always. You basically find me moaning and shaking everywhere I go. I have nasty habit of choking myself or cutting or burning myself while I do so. The way my now masochistic body coped with my past of abuse by learning to get off to the pain, huh? Aka learning to love pain as defense and coping mechanism.

I also was addicted to alcohol and drugs, but trying to stop and waste my money on merch or something else (which has a lot to do with my obssesive-compulsive behaviour issues, i know i dont even need some things but i have a feeling I NEED THEM as if my life was depending on it and end with no money for bill or food) so yeah. I collect shit i guess. Anxious wreck...

You may say I am pathetic loser who jack off to tentacle pron and lolis (even better combined), but welp, thats life for me. Amputees are hot af too. Even more when oniichan edges my masochistic c***.
i have no idea what im saying anymore

I love my brother.

Choro isn't my comfort/coping character. I'm kin with him. I'm him. I was him. Me and Osomatsu had insectous sexual relationship way too many lives.

I love Osomatsu and i want to bust my nut in his cute little tight asshole and fill him with my piss

ok

rip

i fucking hate life without you