LavendarRain Member Profile

...See more I confided in my boyfriend about my past. I told him that I was molested by my great uncle when I was around the age of 4 (which I don't remember). I told him about how I had a one night stand with this guy over a year ago and he unknowingly hurt me. I couldn't pee for three straight days without being in tears (It was the friction that hurt me. He didn't rape me. I never spoke up that he was hurting me.) And I was also penetrated by a guy's fingers when I had told him not to beforehand. He knew he did wrong and I made it known that I was not okay with it. I broke off communication with him. Now, I'm 25 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend's baby (so hormones up the wazoo!) and I've been binge watching the newest Law & Order: SVU lately and it keeps bringing me back to those times. I don't like thinking about those times and I had thought about them since I pushed them away. I guess I just suppressed them than got over them because I can't barely have sex with my boyfriend without thinking about those encounters. I just get all tingly (in the bad way) and get turned off even while we're in the middle of it. I don't know what to do about this. Each time I told him about one of these events, he's wanted to do things after. As if him showing me affection in a sexual way with counteract the bad sexual experiences I had. My problems with sex can't be fixed by sex. He doesn't get it. At all. And I don't know what to do. Can anyone help me?

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