LilacGardens3465 Member Profile

...See more Hi everyone, I'm new here so please be gentle lol. I have been openly pansexual for several years now, though my serious relationships have all been with men (I am a cis woman/femme). However, I have never been in a relationship that felt completely right. I have always felt hesitation in some way or another. I am currently engaged to a man, but we have had a LOT of challenges, and I am at a big crossroads in life. I am a doctoral student and my best friend just received a terminal diagnosis, and my other close friend admitted his feelings for me a couple of months ago. The led to a lot of questioning on my end, but I have been surprised to notice that my interest in women seems to be growing more. I see men and my initial reaction is kind of to recoil. I wonder if a man can even provide what I am looking for. I started watching The Ultimatum Queer Love recently and identified that when I see sapphic relationships I feel sad and jealous. I still think I am most likely fluid in my sexuality, but growing to wonder more and more if I am more compatible with a woman or non-binary person. I am having a lot of questions and uncertainty right now. I have talked to my fiancé about my sexuality before, and have recently discussed feeling I need more emotional support from him. But I feel at a loss for how to approach this with everything else happening in life right now and also wanting to make sure I am clear before addressing this with my partner. Has anyone had similar experiences/have any insight? I feel really alone in this and don't know how else to seek support despite being in therapy of my own. I feel I need community support.

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