Lilyhooves Member Profile

...See more Okay, before I start, I wanna say that I've finally how to post! I was able to post, but not the initial thread, just the thread title. Alright, I'll get into the post. *Maybe trigger warning?* So, to start, I want to say that my family isn't exactly... normal. My mom is very relaxed with internet stuff, and gives us freedom. She also was, basicaly, a single mom. My dad was not in my life, he was always in the basement, and rarely every came upstairs to talk to us. We never knew what mood he was in, so when he came home from work, my sisters and I would hide in our bedroom. Starting at just 11 years old and even up to now, I had older men who I considered friends use me in some sexual way. The first person was A man with the user with Titan in it. He was a man in his mid 30's, who used me to pleasure himself, and I had to listen to it every. day. For a month. He then forced me to talk him down from ending his life. This only started the terrible luck I have with men, going to a man who I trusted everything with, who also sent, commented, and asked innopropriate questions to me, and then betrayed my trust and kicked me out of the group I was in for 4 years, leaving me with nothing. Then there was a man who pretty much threatened to r^pe me if he met me, and then someone who never listened to anyone and threatened to end it, which made me shut down with him slowly reminding me more and more of Titan. So, because of them, I have MANY MANY issues, including what I think is PTSD, and anxiety attacks with a few things they caused. Now, I've somewhat coped, but not fully over the effects they had on me. I now have little to no friends because I lost any trust in people, can't hear any of the mens name, words associated with them, or sounds without having a panic attack. The best part? I have gotten no help for this. I go to therapy for my anxiety and depression, but I'm too scared to mention that I think I have PTSD. To end, there was/is a teacher, was a student teacher which brings back intense memories of one of the men, which causes me to not to be able to see his face nor think about the teacher without being reminded of the other person. That teacher will be subbing for a teacher I have atleast 2 times a day, and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. That's all I have to say, feel free to comment, and I'll respond.

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