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Lividian
127 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 19, 2019
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lost and trying to find myself
OCD & Related Behaviors / by Lividian
Last post
 June 8th, 2020
...See more Hey, you can call me liv. I just recently got diagnosed with OCD in 2018. It was out of the blue. I have a few other diagnoses (depression, psychotic features, and PTSD) and I expected all of those, but I didn't really know what OCD was until I started learning about it after my diagnosis. It made sense though. Symptoms I never realized were obsessive-compulsive, suddenly became so clear. From early childhood I would have very vivid and graphic scenes play through my head on repeat. They would play through my head for hours sometimes, despite my efforts to get them to stop. I felt so guilty and ashamed for thinking these things that I never opened up to a therapist about them. I plan to change that when I get back into counseling. In addition to the tremendous amount of stress I've been under lately, I've been off my meds for almost 2 weeks (I lost my insurance) and things are getting weird. All of my mental illnesses are feeding off of each other. My paranoia fuels my OCD, which causes my anxiety to skyrocket, and that makes me withdraw from everyone. Which just puts me up in my own head all day, every day. I've been navigating at least some form of mental illness since I was 7, so I know how to ride it out. I just feel so alone this time and I'm losing touch with the real world. Anyone have any good ways to cope?
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