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LonerWolf1
268 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts23 Forum upvotes28 Current upvotes28 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceJuly 16, 2019
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Just want to introduce myself
Depression Support / by LonerWolf1
Last post
 January 7th, 2021
...See more Hi. I posted a few times but never introduced myself, so I thought to do so now. I have been struggling with depression along with anxiety since early childhood. I am 31 y.o. now. I have managed to finish my PhD recently but I am very much stuck now because I cannot find a job due to the pandemic, and debilitating depression and anxiety. I'm glad to have found this support group. I really believe it should help (and already did), and maybe I can also support others. I am a good listener and love to encourage others. That's me
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Merry Christmas in spite of anxiety
Anxiety Support / by LonerWolf1
Last post
 December 26th, 2020
...See more Hi everyone I am not having the best Christmas eve yet, not nearly, because of my anxiety. But I decided to turn it positive and just wish you all a merry Christmas, whatever you are facing right now. Anxiety is tough, and it can bereaved us of daily joys. But I hope that you all have at least a bit of merryment... I believe I will also experience some moments of joy with my family. Once again, merry Christmas
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Debilitating anxiety
Anxiety Support / by LonerWolf1
Last post
 December 5th, 2020
...See more Sometimes anxiety is just debilitating, so much that it makes it impossible to do things. At the moment I'm unemployed but doing part time freelance research. I wanted to do something as simple as baking a cake. But when I'm anxious the slightest thing upsets me and I freak out starting to cry if even one ingredient is not to be found exactly where I expect it to be in the pantry. Meds help, but I don't want to be too dependent on meds - medication, especially benzodiazepines, are only a temporary solution in my view. It remains a struggle.
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Not being oneself when in a state of depression
Depression Support / by LonerWolf1
Last post
 December 6th, 2020
...See more A bit of background for my situation: I am in the situation of a not-so-well functioning adult living with his parents. Set back by a toxic marriage I'm now 31 y.o. People and I myself still expect a lot of me because I did manage to finish a PhD. Now yesterday morning I told my mother I'm scared of falling back, remembering myself a year ago. It's as if a state of depression hit all too sudden, without much warning. And what happened that day was that I treated her, and my family in an unfair way when they attempted to push me to not be inactive. I'm just not myself when in such a state. And I'm so ashamed of myself. It's as if my brain is a computer on which, suddenly, a whole different program takes over. Similar experiences? Advice?
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Canceling appointments because of crippling anxiety
Anxiety Support / by LonerWolf1
Last post
 October 24th, 2020
...See more I had to cancel an appointment with my doctoral supervisor (now co-researcher) because my anxiety is just too crippling. I don't know if I would be able to drive in this state and chances are very good that I would drive half way of the 30 min drive to campus and then turn around because I can't handle the anxiety, confusion and racing thoughts. The problem is that this is probably a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I can't think clearly enough to convince myself otherwise. And now the guilt and shame of canceling another appointment for no reason except my irrational anxiety. I know that is a lot of complaining but I actually want to know if anyone can identify with this. I feel like such an idiot.
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More anxious because I feel I need to be able to stop it.
Anxiety Support / by LonerWolf1
Last post
 October 5th, 2020
...See more My anxiety gets worse because I feel like I should be able to stop it. In other words, I am having something of an "anxiety attack" which is made worse because I feel guilty because I cannot stop, because I feel I should be able to stop it with breathing techniques or meditation, but somehow I just fail at it.
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